la Mama de Querida

Letting it all hang out

2012-01-06T20:19:00.000-08:00

So at five minutes to 9:00 at night I found myself in the obscure section of the Water Garden Cinema 6 parking lot, waiting for Beulah to text me if she was able to get tickets for her and a friend to see a movie. I have my phone out and I'm playing a game of sudoku to pass the time. I switch on the radio and I hear a familiar baseline . . . . "Starlight" by Muse, one of my favorite songs (ever since I saw The Tourist and heard that same baseline at the start of the credits--what a great finale!). I'm in my fuzzy leopard pajamas with my coat on and I can't stop myself. I close my eyes and start to sing along, "Far away, this ship is taking me far away, far away from the memories," but I can't keep my eyes closed too long because I'm playing sudoku and it's going so well. I think I might be slightly dancing in my seat by now. Singing, dancing, playing, buzzed by my unusual beverage choice of orange Sunkist soda, I look up and see a guy emerge from the car parked next to me, looking amused. It's nice to enjoy life's little pleasures.

Today I read Like Water for Chocolate. It was entertaining and interesting, but I am not a believer in the strange form of obsessive love that so often presents itself in Latin novels. I just finished Love in the Time of Cholera, which took me five or six weeks to read. Very intriguing characters, amazing detail and descriptions, and yet I'm still frustrated by this irrational, all-consuming passion that insists on calling itself love, yet isn't based on any true familiarity or friendship--just a feeling that manifests itself and seems uncontrollable. I guess I don't trust feelings to be reliable or long lasting. Or fair, even. I think they have their place in courtship, but to place your entire life's happiness based on an emotion experienced with eye contact is absurd.

Gloria

If only we were always this excited!

2011-09-13T09:24:00.003-07:00

This is Goose on her first day of kindergarten. I love this picture because she looks so happy and ready to start a new part of her life. I recognize in myself occasionally a lack of enthusiam, and I'm realizing more and more that a downer attitude reaps nothing but more unhappiness.

So here's to having a good day!

2011-08-10T19:45:00.000-07:00

This summer has been my busiest in recent memory, chock-full of swimming lessons, errands, braces, newsletters, a Nut Growers' conference, family celebrations, festivals, travels, farewells, dumpsters and now the sweet peeping of baby chicks. It has gone too fast and I find myself wanting to stop time and rewind. I want to capture my children and hold them as close to me as I can. What an unkind paradox that sometimes when you want to hold something so near, your tight grip suffocates and causes pain, rather than showing love. I think about Goose and her fierce loyalty to the neighbor boy. I could do pages on that, btw, but I'm remembering in particular a time that I insisted that she stop playing with him so she could do what I wanted her to do. Instead of happily complying to my wishes when he left, she went into her room and howled and screamed at the separation from her sweet friend.

The big girls have been gone so much. Our home just has a different flavor when they're not here; boring and bland, with a touch of quiet.

The boys have filled their days with books, legos, squabbling and video games.

Husband has been busy with his projects, but he found time to put the Costco laminate down, and I am now so much happier with the floor in my house.

The best thing that has happened this summer I hesitate to mention because it is so precious to me. Beulah and Janey have finally regained their friendship. It is magical and it's a blessing that I will forever cherish.

Magnificent!

2011-05-25T12:27:00.000-07:00

Let's just get one thing clear. Husband totally understands about this, making him all the more wonderful a man.
I love Bono. It's not a crush or an infatuation--it is a devotion borne purely out of respect and platonic admiration. Watching Bono walk out onto state last night felt like . . . like a miracle, almost. Here he was, the real thing, out where I could see him with my own two brown eyes. He who had written and sung so many anthems that stirred my sensitivities as a teenager and lifted my spirits as an adult. He was awesome--fun, lithe (I loved how he danced around and lunged forward, cradling the microphone close just like he has in all the concert footage I've seen for 25 years.), passionate and good.
And the rest of the band--it was so perfect. They were incredible and all looked so happy to be there. I saw The Edge pull off guitar riffs that still give me goose bumps. Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
It was so wonderful having Husband by my side, his arm around me as I screamed my excitement at seeing all these men.
I couldn't escape the feeling that I wanted to run up and hug Bono, and it's funny because when the sister who'd been on stage put her arm around him and pulled him close, I felt like she was doing it for me. I don't ever need to meet Bono--I don't even want to, really. I'm just one of millions of fans who can appreciate a totally good thing.
BTW, sorry for the lame photos. I brought William's camera and wasn't able to use it to its full capacity, I'm sure. Can you spot the photo I lifted from KSL.com?

Spring Comes with a Pinch of Dread

2011-04-20T18:48:00.001-07:00

Will this be the year we rent the rototiller? We have "flower beds" surrounding about half of our yard and every year we start spring with a mad application of Round-Up and pick axes, trying to quash the weeds that have miraculously developed under a winter's worth of snow. A few weekends in March go by (some snowy enough to produce an 8 foot-high snowman) and now in the midst of April I've got crabgrass up to my knees lining the perimeter of my yard. Grrrr. A few soggy onions that we neglected to pick last October are showing new green tops. The fennel that we experimented with last year (a colossal failure, by the way; the plants managed to finally grow big and tall but the bulbs that get harvested when fist-size never grew bigger than Brussels sprouts, and then when I decided that I would simply let the plants go to seed so I could collect the fennel, I discovered that while they smelled like licorice, the seeds tasted like splinters) seems to have resurrected itself. I didn't think it was a perrenial plant but all that green fuzz coming up from last year's dead growth suggests otherwise. And there are about 200 million different weeds that have developed everywhere they find soil. Grrrr again. So while I'm not sure how helpful a rototiller actually will be, I have visions of pepper plants and big red tomatoes and golden mounds of butternut squash pushing up out of dark soil with the help of this marvelous machine. A girl's got to dream, after all.

The End of Winter

2011-03-21T12:26:00.000-07:00

Today is the first day of spring, gray though it may be. And on my computer and camera are dozens (hundreds, really) of pictures of the different goings on of the past few weeks. We visited the Hutchings Museum for a surprisingly engaging "Night at the Museum," attended a roadshow where Janey played Queen Vanity (hair and make up done by Beulah, who did a far better job than I would have done), made snowmen who lived less than a day, cooked up a mess of baby back ribs and sweet potato fries, and tried to capture the amazing full moon. If I could capture other things on the camera you'd have an image of T-Bone writing essays on U-Write (not his favorite pastime), Janey diligently playing her flute, Beulah furiously studying for FRQs, da boys spending hours twiddling their thumbs on DSes, and Goose listening to increasingly elaborate stories about Princess SweetPea in Cuddlebee Marsh (you have to ask Husband). Speaking of Husband, he's taking a new job soon and furiously studying to pass his Board Certified Test this week. He's excited for something new and I am so proud of him for always treating his customers over the past two years the same way I'd want my grandma to be treated.

Some Pictures

2011-02-17T09:44:00.000-08:00

Give Me Patience and Give It Quick!

2011-02-11T12:48:00.000-08:00

Goose likes to encourage us to listen to General Conference clips during our lunchtime. Today, we heard President Uchtdorf talk about the virtue of patience (fron April 2010 Priesthood Session). It was an amazing talk and it reminded me that I need to learn to endure with more faith, fortitude, and patience. I just want to get unpleasantness and struggles over and done with but life doesn't work that way. I can't expect instantaneous change from anyone, including myself.
The challenge for me is to not give up when the results aren't immediate. One of the great shames of my life is that I quit piano lessons and now I can't play even the simplest piece without a number of mistakes. Janey is studying flute this year, and she has learned a song that is to be accompanied by the piano. The piano piece is pretty easy--only a couple of flats and only 2-4 notes being played at a time. But I can't play it without making the same dumb mistakes over and over again. It seems like it's impossible for me to learn to do it right. But maybe I just need to be more patient.
It was crazy hair day yesterday.
Also, Cheeseball was trained in "RadKIDS"--basic self-defense training that our PTA provided to all second graders. Mr.Red kept asking Cheeseball to kick him harder....

Thoughts from Book Club

2011-01-20T07:03:00.000-08:00

A couple of nights ago I went to book club. Somehow we got on the topic of dying and leaving our children behind. The biggest fear we all seemed to share is that no one would ever love our kids they way we do. It's an amazing thing, the love a mother has for a child. I'm finding it difficult to articulate what I mean, because so much of love is a feeling that extends beyond vocabulary. I am enjoying being with Goose so much lately, and when she smiles at me and tells me she loves me, I know we have a connection that is exclusive to ourselves. I have great kids and it's so good to be with them and talk and share and feel their love. Are things always perfect in our home? No way--we have struggles and we mess up daily. But I am so grateful for the good times and for the chance to try to nurture. I'm also grateful for April 2010 LDS General Conference--lots of good talks on raising children.

2011-01-07T18:56:00.000-08:00

So I've been reading and re-reading the books for the Lonesome Dove series. The books offer a fascinating breadth of detail (sometimes quite bloody and violent) about life on the western frontier 150 years ago. I wonder what it says about me that I find it so interesting and engaging?
When I read, I like to escape and see places I've never been to and meet people that I've never known. I'm least fond of books about people like me-- scratch that, I'm least fond of books with dying, dead, or missing children. But reading about a white suburban housewife just doesn't have a lot of appeal for me. Maybe because then I would feel a need to compare myself with the character and then note all the ways I've come up short. Ugh. Pride is a terrible thing in how it makes us compete with others--even fictional characters. The way that it makes us rejoice to find others' faults or problems is the height of unchristlike-ness.

What I Like

2010-12-13T09:02:00.001-08:00

Yeah! It's Christmastime and we had a pretty good weekend! On the downside, it doesn't look like we're putting up Christmas lights and I suspect we have mice in our garage :(. But beyond that, no complaints. In fact, there's a lot that I like and so here is a list:

Goose is starting to ask me how to spells words. She barely can write letters and I'm not certain she can even identify them all but she is finally interested in the written word!

I love my pandora radio soooooo much. I have two dozen stations now, I believe, but the one I play the very most is Joe Jackson. Such fun music! I can also have Christmas music whenever I want it, commerical-free!

The Messiah Sing-Along was wonderful, as always. Next year I want to bring one of my kids along. (funny... they don't seem excited by the prospect but I love it so much I want to share it!)

Along those lines, Husband got out his trumpet and started looking for the music so he can play "And the Trumpet Shall Sound."

T-Bone has started wearing a Santa hat to school. So cute!

Last evening the kids watched The Nightmare before Christmas and Husband and I sang along as we were reading our books.

Goodies have started to trickle into our home.

I can read The Christmas Miracle of Johnathan Toomey again and cry at the end. I have to read it about three times aloud before I can get through it without tears.

Marzipan!

Beautiful

2010-11-12T07:03:00.000-08:00

I will be the first to admit that I'm a sentimental marshmallow. A couple of weeks ago, I happened upon something wonderful on YouTube. I clicked on a link to a song that I thought was called "Beautiful Gordon" (being related to a very cute person of the same name). Anyway, turns out the song was called "Beautiful," and it was originally performed by Gordon Lightfoot, someone who was way before my time.

I fell in love with the song, and the fact that the singer was a fellow who looked like a happy, bearded Dick Cheney, just made it even better.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=IZVdw-Rh8gM

When I went back on YouTube to watch the video, I noticed something amazing--a number of video clips from men probably on the downside of 55 who are covering this song. I clicked on them over and over again and heard them singing and playing guitar, resplendent with music and sensitivity that I would never guess from their appearance. Of course, I'm the one with the prejudices and preconceptions, but I love it when I am surprised about people. There is so much more to everyone than meets the eye.

Odds and Ends

2010-11-08T07:37:00.001-08:00

So I was looking through Cheeseball's coat pockets this morning, trying to find a paper lunch bag to use (he is the only one of my kids who faithfully brings back his lunch bag) when I find two mini-water guns zipped in a side compartment. I'm pretty sure his school has a zero-tolerance weapon policy; on Halloween, Luke Skywalker can't even bring a light sabre. A little concerned about budding criminality, I asked Cheeeseball about it at the breakfast table. It turns out that his friend had just returned the squirt guns after having them since he and Cheeseball went swimming last summer. At least the weapons exchange was under the radar of the school administration.

On another note, I took the girls to take pictures around Temple Square this weekend. We parked three blocks away (I know; I'm clueless about where I am half the time) and as we walked toward the temple, we passed some of the ubiquitous homeless, one whom was relieving himself in a corner about ten feet away from my four year old girl. Nice! Thankfully no one noticed except me.

Halloween, or a Symphony of Napoleons

2010-11-04T07:14:00.000-07:00

Sisters

2010-10-27T09:52:00.000-07:00

When Husband went to wake Janey this morning, he saw that Goose was cuddled up next to her in Janey's bed. Not a huge surprise, considering that Goose had a hard time falling asleep last night and was calling out to Husband and me every five minutes or so. Janey went into her room a little after nine and got into bed while her little sister was still awake. Not a good plan if you want ot be left alone! We are lucky that instead of throwing a fit about obnoxious little sisters, Janey simply let Goose in her bed and both got to have a good night sleep. For both the girls' sakes, this better not become a pattern. But sometimes it's nice to know you're not alone out there in the dark.

Some Things I Am Not Good At

2010-10-15T21:39:00.000-07:00

We played scrabble with the middle kids today. It was fun, but I'm fairly disappointed with my performance. I always think I should be good at games involving words because I'm certainly not good at games involving strategy, symbols, or numbers! Every once in a while Husband threatens me with a game of chess. I always try to find a way out of it.

Here is a random question: why would an actor of Michael Caine's caliber even consider being in Jaws 4? Seriously. We watched the movie as we finished scrabble and now we're watching it on the sofa as I sit tapping out my blog on the iPad.

Things I'm Grateful For

2010-09-24T09:16:00.000-07:00

I have been too negative lately, so I need to write about some of the big and small things I'm thankful for.

my wonderful, loving, supportive and wise Husband

my basil plant, alive and well this year in the garden box

my children are all happy to go to school

properly functioning major and minor appliances

good health for me and my family

good books to read

compassion from kind friends

love and support from sisters and sisters-in-law

Cheeseball's choice to get baptized

Cheeseball and T-Bone's wonderful friendship

time with Goose in the morning

Beulah's dedication to excellence in her schoolwork

forgiveness for my mistakes

Janey's enthusiasm for life's experiences

the freedom to enjoy yummy food without guilt

the beautiful world I can see around me

happy memories of fun times

safe and healthy vacations

consulting work from former employers

raspberries growing

knowledge of God and Jesus Christ and an awareness of their love for me

good examples

afternoon naps

generous donations others make to DI

fabulous pregnancies and safe deliveries

listening to my kids play piano

people who teach my children

supportive and wonderful parents

cool mornings

the hope of an even better future

all those people who have prayed for me and my family

I could and should go on but I have piles on laundry that need my attention.

If a Stevedore Knew Petrarch. . . .

2010-09-17T13:42:00.000-07:00

So I downloaded an app for my ipad; the NY Times crossword puzzle. I've solved two puzzles so far, needing help about four dozen times. It's amazing to me how many things I have no idea about--sports figures, rivers in Europe, battles that happened 500 years ago. And it's also amazing what you can learn about with Wikipedia in a matter of seconds. It is a little scary how much time I can spend on a puzzle, but then I rationalize that learning something new can't be all that bad.

First Day of School

2010-08-25T08:01:00.000-07:00

Well, catching 1 out of 3 buses on time might not be the worst record ever, but it certainly isn't the best. I don't like the first day of school. I don't like Back to School with it's endless disclosure forms and permission forms and petitions for money, and I don't like that my free time doesn't coincide with when my kids' teachers need classroom help. Growl. At least my children are all happy to go; that's really the most important thing.

Sir Paul

2010-07-14T08:10:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago I gave Beulah an early birthday present of two tickets to Paul McCartney's concert. She has been a big Beatle's fan for a few years (even going so far as to call one of her online avatars "Beatles Babe"). She agonized over who to invite but in the end she brought me, which, of course, is what I was hoping for.

We got there in plenty of time, despite my stressing about being stuck in traffic. We found our seats at the rear of the stadium (not the very worst seats but most were better than ours) and then we waited. When the fog machines started to blow out electric blue air we screamed and then he came out on stage! It was amazing! He performed a bunch of songs in the beginning that I was not familiar with but over the course of the evening he hit my two favorite Beatles songs--"Let It Be" and "Hey Jude" and many other wonderful songs that people have loved for decades. The coolest part of the night was "Live and Let Die" with the fireworks blazing--I screamed myself hoarse! I loved when he invited the audience to sing along with "Hey Jude" and "Oh Bla De"; there I was, singing along with Paul McCartney! I think my favorite song of the might was, "And I Love Her." "Blackbird" was also perfect. His voice stayed true through all the dozens of songs and his energy was great. He looked so happy to be there and he created such a positive atmosphere for all the people there of all ages. Beulah was thrilled when he gave a tribute to George Harrison (he's her favorite Beatle) and I think she had fun. I have been to many rock concerts--most of them almost 20 years ago. But this might have been the best.

Thanks for taking me, BG. I love you!

Father, Can You Get Your Little Butt in Your Swimming Suit?

2010-07-10T11:03:00.000-07:00

What is up with Goose calling me and Husband "Mother" and "Father" lately? She is so funny to talk with right now.
On another note, I felt invincible as I was running down a hill this morning, almost like I could keep running forever. Then as I started running up the opposite hill, I thought that it was a good thing I was close to home. True to form, I am the slowest runner in the world.
Last week T-Bone discovered that the two asparagus crowns we'd planted next to his garden spot had finally sent up something green. It was a wonderful surprise. In the spring, I had bought six asparagus crowns and then planted them and so far the ones that T-Bone spotted are the only ones that have produced.
Cheeseball found a Harry Potter Uno game in mint condition at DI. He has been fun to play with.
Beulah has finally discovered the joy of gardening.
Janey is still the reigning Cheese Queen amongst her friends.
Oh, last week we celebrated the 4th of July on the 3rd and 5th. The family, burgers and fireworks on the 3rd were wonderful and the parade on the 5th was fun. The most incredible thing to me about the weekend was how comfortable the temperatures were. I can't remember the last time I felt a cool breeze on the 4th, but the whole weekend was absolutely beautiful. It has been the prettiest summer since we've been in Utah, with all the spring rain we've had. The mountains still look green.

Dead, Dead, Dead

2010-06-04T13:24:00.001-07:00

Well we came home from a very relaxing and enjoyable trip in Phoenix to meat juices seeping out from the refrigerator and spilling onto the floor. Right before our trip, we noticed that our fridge wasn't working. We called the repairman and he checked all the connections and got it working again. But he wasn't convinced that there wasn't some other problem. We put all the frozen food that we could into the garage refrigerator, but it couldn't all fit in. So we left a few things in our kitchen fridge, crossed our fingers, and left for several days.

The rest, as they say, is history.

We have decided that we will pay to repair it again, rather than buy a new one our move in our garage fridge (it has broken shelves in the freezer, so things tend to slide and fall out.)

Also, Beulah's guinea pig Sarah died the day after we returned. Who knows why? Beulah keeps checking the online classifieds to get another one but I am hoping she'll drop the idea.

My kitchen basil, which was pathetic at it's best moment, seems mostly dead. One sad little stalk has four tiny leaves that aren't all shriveled up.

But on a happy note, our flowers are all still alive and blooming (and this after they survived a snow storm!) Our garden areas are overgrown with weeds--I don't think it's ever been worse and I've sprayed Round-Up 3 times this spring, at least--but our tomatoes and peppers are still alive and some other plants are popping up. Let's just hope we can distinguish between the seedlings and the weeds.

The weather in Phoenix was hot, but not too bad. All we did was swim and fish and make one 40 minute trip to the 99 cent store. On the way down, we stopped at Goblin Valley for a couple of hours and saw some amazing sandstone structures.

Yesterday the kids had their piano recital. It was nice; it would have been even better if everyone had practiced their songs in the days before the recital but our being away from the piano made that impossible. I am grateful for the efforts that they all make in practicing. It's nice to have music around.

Now I have to make good on my promise to get a summer membership at the rec center so we can go swimming.

Some Things a Mother Doesn't Know

2010-05-19T18:56:00.000-07:00

Goose is very interested in death lately. Her curiosity runs the gamut from what happens to our skeletons as they decompose to what happens to our bones when they're resurrected. Today she asked me if there were toothbrushes in Heaven. Umm. I have no idea. We'll have perfect teeth, right, and we'll be able to eat, right? Will there not be bacteria to form plaque and bad breath or will our mouths be be impervious to said bacteria? These are things that I don't know. I also don't know if there will be potties in Heaven, another question Goose had for me last week.

Beulah questioned me about evolution today, telling me that her teacher told her there was more evidence for evolution than there was about the Holocaust. First of all, I told her that the term "evolution" was inadequate. Obviously, we see evidence of biological genetic change all over the place. But as for Evolution meaning humans descending from apes, I challenge any scientist to produce a homo erectus that can tell us about his daily life in a cave with his clan versus finding a survivor from a concentration camp who can tell about living under the Nazis.

Spring Break with a Sick Goose

2010-04-14T08:10:00.000-07:00

A week after I returned from Hawaii, Goose got sick. She had a fairly high fever for three or four days and all I got get her to eat was popsicles. It was the first time she was sick for more than 24 hours. And she got way too much attention and lost a little bit of weight.

Two weeks after that (the night before Easter), Goose got sick again. This time she was vomiting. And instead of getting better after 24 hours, which always seems to happen, she developed a high fever and kept throwing up. I brought her to the doctor Monday morning hoping he would tell me she had some bacterial infection that we could treat but instead he told me that she needed to be in the hospital. I'm such a baby that I called my mom and cried and kept bawling all the way to the hospital (in clothes that Goose had thrown up on). We were checked in and they put an IV in (which she hated). Husband joined us shortly. He kept asking the nurses and he called the doctor with his concerns about the cost of everything (we do have a very high deductible health insurance plan). No one could tell him what anything cost until he met with the financial office to pay the bill the next day. It was interesting how un-consumer driven health care really is.

Goose was in the hospital for about 27 hours. She got hydrated and her fever went down and she was so miserable with her IV that we were all begging to leave. Her recovery at home was very slow but she's doing well now. Our fun for spring break was filled with bowing to Goose's wishes in all things, going to Hee Haw and celebrating Goose's 4th birthday.

Aloha!

2010-03-19T08:46:00.001-07:00

My trip to Hawaii was wonderful, all the more so because so many people helped me and my family out during our 10 day separation.

A list of some of my experiences:

Standing on the street in Honolulu (Waikiki) in my pajamas at 4:30 am because someone pulled the fire alarm. "Alert! There is a fire in the building! Please exit now!"

Being blasted by wind at the Pali Outlook, Waimea Canyon, on the ship, and just about everywhere else.

Watching a Samoan make fire from a stick and a coconut

Snorkeling in Hanauma Bay and seeing yellow, blue, pink, and green tropical fish

Eating warm banana bread and fresh coconut and pineapple on the road to Hana.

Loving the black rock beach the the stone church in Maui

Eating yummy pineapple whip at the Dole plantation

Hiking the half mile of fern rainforest on the way to the lava tube

Walking through the lava tube

Watching chickens fly across the road

Looking at steaming craters

Being just about last on board in Hilo and Kauai

Eating yummy hashbrowns from the buffet for breakfast

Singing happy birthday to Donna with the family at our table

Spying the sea turtle in Hilo

Seeing the whale off of Maui! I caught an itty-bitty picture of its tail.

Almost swimming near a sewage treatment plant out of desperation.

Taking a taxi with Tenesa to be brought to a more acceptable beach.

Being repeatedly knocked over by powerful aqua waves that were so heavy with coarse sand that I got exfoliated from head to toe.

Finding a tooth of unknown origin in my swimming suit

Meeting Mr. Photographer

Loving the beautiful umbrella trees all over Oahu and Kauai

Walking with the sea urchins on the pahoehoe shore near Kona

Listening to Darcy and Reed's tales of Lyman

Sailing past the magnificent NaPoli coast

Seeing the whale through the window right when someone talked about seeing a whale the previous day!

Looking at the names at the Arizona memorial

Watching the gray-haired ladies dancing the hulu beautifully

Seeing: Spouting Horn, Kauai lighthouse, blowhole in Oahu, crazy parasailing windsurfers, amazing banyan trees and rainbows and sea creatures.

Getting reaquainted with my brilliant, beautiful, fun and talented cousins and aunts and uncles and hanging out with my generous and fabulous parents.

But the best part of all was getting off the plane, walking to the baggage claim, and seeing Husband and the twinkies waiting for me, the three youngest holding a big banner that said, "Welcome Home Mom." My family is more beautiful than anything in the world to me and I'm so grateful to be with them again and feel their love.

My Lovesong to Eliot

2010-02-18T18:35:00.000-08:00

Having just read my sister-in-law's blog about her favorite poem, I find that I have to copy her. Initially, I tend to be a fairly lazy reader--it takes a really compelling story or very interesting characters to get me to read "lyrical" prose. And poetry? I don't think I've read much since I graduated from college 15 years ago. But there is one poem that I do remember. And return to again and again. It is very famous; I studied it in high school, and in both my American and English Literature classes (those darn expatriots).
"The Lovesong of J. Alfred Prufrock"
It has lines like:

And I have known the eyes already, known them all--
The eyes that fix you in a formulated phrase,
And when I am formulated, sprawling on a pin,
When I am pinned, and wriggling on the wall,
Then how should I begin
To spit out all the butt-end of my days and ways?
And how should I presume?

and

And would it have been worth it, after all,
After all the cups, the marmalade, the tea,
Among the porcelain, among some talk of you and me,
Would it have been worth while,
To have bitten off the matter with a smile,
To have squeezed the universe into a ball
To roll it toward some overwhelming question,
To say, "I am Lazarus, come from the dead,
Come back to tell you all, I shall tell you all"
If one, settling a pillow by her head,
Should say, "That is not what I meant at all,
That is not it, at all."

I don't mean to be melodramatic, but I have occasionally sensed this emptiness and uselessness and impotence in my life. (I think it's called being human.) In general, I am happy and feel great, but there are times when I feel so misunderstood and incapable of articulation and simply invisible. This poem just seems to capture all those sentiments and the absurdities that accompany them.

Horseshoes, Hand Grenades and Nuclear War

2010-02-14T15:29:00.000-08:00

I had to make some Emeril's Essence today to put on our ribeye steaks for Valentine's Day. All was going well, till I had to put in 1 tablespoon of black pepper. I have a magic pepper mill, you see. It's doesn't take too terribly long to grind a quarter teaspoon. But when you try to work up to a whole teaspoon, it seems like no matter how hard or long you turn it, you never reach the teaspoon. It's as if it knows that an important milestone is coming up and it doesn't want to reach it. So I had husband twist the mill for a while. And we went in spurts, dumping it out every quarter teaspoon or so and measuring the pepper. And I'm not kidding you, by ten minutes later we had increased the size of the pepper granules but we still hadn't reached the tablespoon mark. However, I decided that in the matter of measuring pepper, almost is good enough.

Last Friday was the sixth-grade dance. I have a bruise on my arm from pinching myself so I wouldn't CRY when the music started and Janey ran off to do the line dance with all the other kids. It was the same song that Beulah had danced with her class to three years ago. And I tend to get emotional when I watch performances anyway, but I was just overwhelmed with feeling like my little girl is growing up. She was one of the few girls who wasn't wearing makeup but she had a good time.

Being Random

2010-01-23T15:58:00.000-08:00

So last night I dreamnt I was taking a walk down the southbound freeway entrance onto University Parkway. The former first lady of Utah, Mary Kaye Huntsmen walked passed me. As soon as she was in front of me, she got hit by a magic spell and was turned into a really cute little pig. I picked her up to bring her home and hoped that no one would butcher her when she got older.

In real life, I have seen MKH once, walking in a parade with her very photogenic family. It was on Center Street, though, and she definitely was not hit with a magic spell or turned into any farm animal.

By the way, you will find some fairly disturbing pictures if you enter "piglet" into Google's image search.

Goose and I made brownies today. Earlier she had been scribbling with markers and then came into my bedroom with a folded piece of paper, saying, "Look, I made a recipe for brownies!" (Or, because it is Goose, "Wook! I made a wecipe fow bwownies!") So this afternoon we got everything out and baked the brownies according to her recipe (and the one in my head). She continues to be demanding of attention but she is so cute and fun lately. She loves to play Candyland and she came with Husband and me to the library, so excited whenever she saw a book she was familiar with.

My only news is that I'm doing part time work for my dad and Uncle Reed's IPPFBE endeavor. Husband designed their website a couple of years ago, and my dad wanted me to help update the site and work on a newsletter. Their goal is to produce superior trees and other perennial plants that will flourish in regions that have poor conditions for traditional grain crops. They also want to explore using nuts for bioenergy and transforming trees at the end of their lifespan to biochar. It's a very worthwhile project; I hope I can be helpful. We're trying to think of my title still, so I can put it on my emails that I'm sending out.

Ever Wonder . . .

2010-01-04T11:50:00.000-08:00

what a seven-year old would do with a camera he got for Christmas?

The hermit crabs are his new pets, and he *loves* them.

Thanks for the memories, Cheeseball!

Jellied Rabbit Mold?

2009-12-26T06:59:00.000-08:00

We had fantastic Christmas yesterday. Santa brought Goose the skeleton costume that she has been asking for. Beulah gave me an assortment of chocolate. T-Bone got that package of underwear that he was expecting and Janey finally has a good book light. Cheeseball unwrapped the cool spoon/fork combo that we saw when we watched a blacksmith working. Husband made a careful list of all the things I asked for and I got laminating sheets, a complete Messiah CD, an expandable pole for window washing and a battery for my Lolex. But the most awesome thing was a cookbook from our favorite consignment store. The recipes are different and fun and it's filled with pictures of the various steps. Though some recipes I gotta say I'm not going to be trying: Eel Pie, Eggs in Aspic, and Jellied Rabbit Mold...

Let's Be Polite and Call It Kitsch

2009-12-09T12:06:00.000-08:00

So we put up the Christmas tree on Monday night. It's our 7 year-old, fiber optic Wal-Mart special and it's covered with homemade wonders and cheap plastic baubles, along with maybe 4 ornaments that cost over $1.00 a piece.
I kept feeling frustrated that I didn't have enough surface area to display the various Christmas decorations that I have, and then I came back from a meeting inspired to put all my Santa Claus stuff (from my Aunt Mary's tole-painted Santa face to our broken Santa in his sleigh with lights) on top of my cupboards. The icing on the cake, though, is the white pillow-filling fluff that we tore up and mounded to look like snow up on the cabinets. The complete look is cheesy and silly, and yes, even tacky, but at least it's different from the same ole, same ole. Janey was happy to help me do it. I have accepted that I will not have an elegant or charming holiday home, but I'm absolutely okay with that.
I love Christmastime!

The Rose

2009-11-18T19:54:00.000-08:00

Tonight we went to Beulah's "Young Women in Excellence." I've been to many of these functions in my life, but tonight was by far the best. Each of the fathers of the young women were asked to bring a flower that he felt represented his daughter, and then bring his daughter up and explain why the flower reminded him of her. It was so wonderful to hear so many loving things said about all these different girls. I felt like I was on the verge of tears all night. Husband brought Beulah up along with a pale pink rose and said that it was pretty and became even more beautiful when you look at its details.
It's a shame that so often in life I focus on the negative when there is so much to celebrate. Take Beulah for instance. She is such a lovely young lady--so smart and so curious and eager to do her best. She is full of passion and wonder and she can be so tender and caring. It makes us laugh when she mispronounces words like "lyric" and "hysterics" because her first exposure to them was in a book. She underestimates herself so much and I just wish I could rip all that insecurity away because she is a fabulous girl with a lot to contribute to the world.

2009-11-10T07:50:00.000-08:00

The other night I woke up suddenly from a fairly intense dream. Everything was very dark and still and then I began to hear whispering. I leaned closer to Husband to see if it was just him breathing, but he was making no noise at all. I tried to go back to sleep but as I laid down, there it was again. So I got up to check the house and make sure no radio was on. I opened the kids' doors slowly, one by one, and everyone was asleep. I went downstairs and checked all the rooms. The house had never been so quiet. Or so dark. I felt completely spooked and I tiptoed through the dark to get back to bed. I closed my eyes and there was the whispering again. I thought to myself that I'm not ready to be going crazy.
And then it hit me. Of course. Husband's audiobook was playing on his mp3 player. By this time I was so annoyed, I turned on the light (barely apologizing to a startled Husband), found the player, and turned it off. As I went back to bed, I felt reassured that I hadn't been losing my mind and hearing voices. But then I wondered why it had taken me so long to figure out it was the player. Maybe I'm losing my mind after all!

Don't Do It

2009-11-07T08:07:00.000-08:00

This was red ribbon week for at the kids' elementary school. As part of his homework, T-Bone and I had to listen to a CD of 6 or 7 songs with anti-drug/peer pressure messages on it and fill out a response sheet. I am very picky about my musical entertainment and this process was particularly tortuous for me. But we made it and by the time it was done, T-Bone had already filled out the sheet. "Hey, I thought I was supposed to fill this out," I said. He just looked at me in his unreadable way. I continued, "I see that you gave the songs a 7 out of 10." He smiled and said, "Yeah, and you gave them an 8 out of 10." I was going to change the score just to save my honor, but then I let him make the call and left it. Maybe he did like the music. I saw that he had marked that we had never discussed drug or alcohol abuse before this time. "What?" I said, "What about our lessons in FHE about the Word of Wisdom?" I did change his mark this time to indicate that we talk about it at least 2 or 3 times a year. So maybe this is something I can improve on. I know drugs are everywhere and that it's naive and foolish to think your kids won't ever be exposed to them. And I can't assume that just because my kids are good and smart, they'll always know the right thing to do and do it.

But honestly, if the school wants to hand out anti-drug music, let's go with Grandmaster Flash:

"Little Jack Horner,

Sat in a corner,

with no shoes and clothes.
This ain't funny,

But he took his money,

and he sniffed it up his nose."

This One Goes out to the One I Love

2009-10-23T08:28:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday, handsome.
Of course, Husband doesn't read this blog, so it's going out to deaf ears, as it were. . . .
Hey, if Husband doesn't read the blog, I'll go ahead with my story:
My sister, Fancy, and I had been traveling around Europe, riding the trains with our Europass by day and often staying at youth hostels at night (except for when we were on the sleeper train and had to sleep with stinky feet in our face and a smoker and an obnoxious Finish blonde who spoke four languages). We'd been in and through London, Paris, Lucerne, Florence, and Venice, and we were now heading for Austria and Germany. We had been in several different grades of sleeping establishments--some clean and efficient, others, well, you can imagine. In the hostels I learned that Europeans had a much looser view of modesty; Fancy and I were always covered up but some of the woman who slept in our rooms did it au natural. Anyway, Fancy wanted to go to Salzburg because that was Mozart's birthplace and the hometown of the Von Trapp family (I think) and of course she was cultured (she had had a humanities class, you know). The hostel itself impressed me as very clean and nice; it had more than one floor and I think Fancy and I might have had the room to ourselves. The bathrooms were in the hall, though. (You can't have it all, I guess, for a few dollars a night.) Anyway, it was in the evening and I went to take a shower. So I go in and there are all these showers lined against the wall, with only partitions between them and no curtains or doors to hide behind. These Europeans were so advanced and modern! Good thing the floors were segregated by sex. So I hop into the closest shower I could find and quickly get down to business. A minute into my shower, I look up and there's a man walking past me. He had his hand hiding his face and was looking away, and went down to the furthest shower. I almost blacked out because I was so scared at the possibility of me being exposed in a men's shower that I grabbed my towel and hauled out of bathroom, running down the hall and into my room. I screamed at Fancy that those were the men's showers and that she had to go get my clothes because I could never, ever, ever go back in there again. At first she hesitated, but I was hysterical and finally she left, returning with my clothes and saying the shower was full of men (I never asked her what she saw, actually). So I guess the floors weren't segregated by sex and I was too dumb to figure out the sign by the bathroom entrance meant Men in German.

I am grateful for the gentlemanly behavior of the first guy who came in. There were a lot of creeps that traveled and I think I was both lucky and blessed.

And Husband, if you ever do read this, I love you the most.

The Story of Why I Buckled on Facebook

2009-10-13T19:30:00.000-07:00

I woke up Monday morning and did my morning routine. After finishing lunches for the kids, and before Husband called me to the table for some yummy cracked wheat (cooked with raisins so Cheeseball would eat it), I sat down at the computer and did a quick check of my e-mail. My mom had sent me a message saying that she had just attended the baptism of these two children. Their mother was my best friend for a few years in high school and I had completely lost contact with her. She had mentioned to my mom that she had just signed up on facebook. And all of a sudden I became emotional because I've lost contact with so many good people and then I realized that if I joined facebook, maybe I could reestablish communication with some of them. So that's it. Sorry that it's a lame story. Maybe the next time I'll tell y'all about my night in Salzburg (Or was it Mannheim?).

Only Seeing Red Occasionally

2009-10-12T08:32:00.000-07:00

I dreamnt last night that I was driving through the canyons looking at all the trees changing color. In particular I kept seeing fiery red maple trees. I don't know if I'll actually get out to see the trees before all the leaves are gone.

I want to take some family pictures out in the fall colors but no one is very excited about it. I wonder if the magic of my whining about it will make it happen?. . .

I feel like I am a very blessed woman. Just having healthy and happy (most of the time) kids is the greatest gift in the world. The boys were doing more creating with legos and spare bionicle parts this weekend. So fun! Now if I could only get all the pieces off the floor.

Goose is having a lot of fun dressing up--tiger costume, leopard costume, twirly dresses. It's fun, unless the costume she wants to wear is MIA.

Beulah is continuing to learn and face new challenges. I am very happy with her effort in piano lately, and my biggest complaint is that she keeps not bringing the lunches I make. (Yes, it probably is a not-so-subtle message that PB&J is no longer acceptable).

Janey is happy and working hard. She needs to find something else to occupy her time with. I wanted to put her in theatre again but we had a hard time deciding which venue.

Husband is my hero for installing a new garbage disposal for us. He also gave a wonderful talk in church yesterday filled with interesting stories. When I try to examine my life for stories, I realize I'm pretty lacking. The ones that come to my mind are either embarrassing or inappropriate for public consumption. Maybe I'll try one out here next time. :)

Being Chilly

2009-10-02T08:53:00.000-07:00

I love that it is finally getting cold! We haven't turned our heat on yet--I kinda want to see how long we can go without it. A few weeks ago, I heard a woman on the radio claim that she kept her house really cold--between 61 and 64 degrees--for health reasons. She said that sick germs didn't like to live in that cold environment and commented that she hadn't been sick in years. Then she said that her grown children all kept their houses quite warm and that they were sick all the time. I suspect her kids and grandkids probably got sick because they were involved with school and other germ-sharing enterprises but who knows? Our house hasn't got that cold yet! I'll spray off our filter and then probably turn the heat on when the next storm starts to brew.

I'm in the need of a good book to read.

A Good Teacher is Hard to Find!

2009-09-29T08:48:00.000-07:00

Last week I got to meet with some of Beulah's teachers. We talked about how things were going in class and what some of the expectations were. After looking at some of Beulah's work and assignments, I remembered back 22 years to when I was in 9th grade, and I met my favorite teacher of them all, Mr. Harry Steinmetz (pictured to the left). He taught my World History and Geography class and he was my first teacher who seemed to be really demanding, and yet he was so interesting. He assigned us challenging assignments and projects. (I had to write a paper on a Great Topic using the Great Classics, i.e., guys who have been dead for over 300 years. I choose, "The Consequences of Sin: The Loss of Charity and Grace") His tests were unforgivably hard. He treated us with respect, though; he knew we were able to learn and he coddled no one. He also was the speech coach, and while I always underperformed, I enjoyed being on the speech team with him for a couple of years. It's amazing how some teachers are such jewels--so capable of making complicated information accessible and so full of energy to inspire greatness. I don't think Beulah has such a teacher this year, unfortunately, but I understand how rare they are. I had maybe five or six really excellent teachers out of my time in high school.

Thank Hevean for Little Girls

2009-09-09T13:15:00.000-07:00

So far so good with my new childcare gig. Goose gets to have two little girls over to play during the day and they get along pretty well--most of the time. They were all feeling musical during lunch time today, and the blond girl sang "I Have a Little Turtle" and the black-haired girl sang, "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star." Goose was so excited she couldn't wrap her tongue around any song she already knew so she started singing about her nose. They all have a dancing and tumbling class this afternoon (in our family we call it "Pretty Girl Dancing School").

Oh, and here are three songs I hear on the radio that make me feel like a teenager again!

Magnificent, by U2

No You Girls, by Franz Ferdinand

Farewell to the Fairground, by White Lies

Conservatives Who Embarrass Me

2009-09-03T07:14:00.000-07:00

After hearing about concerned parents who refuse to let their children view President Obama's upcoming address to school-children I have to throw in my two cents.
First of all, I guess it really is up to parents to teach and protect their kids but COME ON! He is the legitimately elected president of the country and while I don't agree with his agenda or priorities I realize that he knows his way around a microphone and can be incredibly inspirational. I appreciate all the comments he has made in the past about working hard in school and turning off the TV. I believe he is politically astute enough to talk to the nation's children and not throw in controversial salvos--he wouldn't want to give his political opponents ammunition. This whole deal is probably a chance for him to reintroduce himself as the positive, can-do guy who got elected. I do think that he is very egocentric (I am skeptical about his motives here) and he is definitely not my favorite president, but let's let him shine where he shines.
If he does try to indoctrinate my children, I will be there to talk to my kids and tell them why and how I disagree.
What bothers me is the knee-jerk reaction some conservatives have; it makes us all look dumb and is identical to the way certain liberals hated everything about George Bush. I don't want to be that way.

A few pictures from our trip

2009-08-23T09:23:00.000-07:00

I Can't Believe It's Gone :(

2009-08-20T00:20:00.000-07:00

I am not happy about school starting tomorrow. As I think about each of my kids I wonder if I spent enough time this summer giving them my love and support and attention. Did I nag them too much? Yell at them too much? Ignore opportunities to talk with them? And now they're going to be gone all day (except for Goose, of course) and by the time I have next summer with them, they'll all be a year older and that much closer to being gone.

Some good things happened this summer. We did go on bike rides together and sometimes we worked in the yard together and one day we colored pictures together. But so much time was wasted on my part.

Our trip to San Diego was good. At the time, there were occasions when I thought we had way too much time all together, but all in all, it couldn't have been better. The ocean was beautiful and fun and T-Bone, Janey, Husband and I all got to snorkel around the cove and see fish swimming around. The zoo was interesting and Goose actually walked almost the whole time. She came face to face with an orangutan and said "Hello." Cheeseball couldn't believe how big the anaconda in the reptile house was. Janey liked taking pictures of the panda in the tree. Legoland was also great. Even Beulah couldn't resist the charm of the millions of legos that made up Miniland, with it's replicas of New York City and Las Vegas. Cheeseball had the time of his life, and T-Bone had a fun time being big enough to do everything he wanted to do, including selecting a level 5 intensity for the ride that picks you up and shakes you.

Yep, the summer definitely went too fast.

From the Fourth

2009-07-29T09:02:00.000-07:00

It took me forever to get the pictures from Janey's camera, but we finally did. We had a fun 4th of July and enjoyed the parade. We were in shade and cloud cover for the most part. This vet in the jeep rides in the parade every year. He is a Pearl Harbor survivor. Ever since I saw Saving Private Ryan I have had a huge appreciation for these brave men who have fought to keep our country free and safe. Goose's favorite part of the parade was seeing Darth Vader.

Remember, it's only wind

2009-07-19T14:30:00.000-07:00

So said a man as he passed me and Husband as were riding up to the canyon. The road has a slight incline and the wind is really strong, so it provides a lot of drag, making my slowness extra slow. Of course, I knew the wind was a factor and I wasn't about to give up, so after the man was ahead of us, I made a snarky comment to Husband that the guy was probably one of those obnoxious motivational dudes who has statements like, "Remember, it's only wind,' stenciled on his wall.

I am frustrated that I am such a slow biker. Everyone passes me, always. I don't care too much because I'm not competitive with things that I'm not good at, but I would like to be just a little faster somehow.

Speaking of faster, yesterday was my first time going downhill on a bike and not being scared. We had ridden to our target destination (we arrived there a couple of minutes after I excoriated Husband for having deceived me about how far away the place really was--I am really not very nice when I've struggling with something and I was struggling, struggling up this hill). And then we turned around and somehow the downhill going was different than it's been before. It felt good and I sensed I was in control, and I smiled at and "Good Morning"ed the bikers going the opposite direction (after one particularly big smile, I gloriously swallowed a tiny bug, yikes).

Janey and Cheeseball are home from church sick. Janey has been dizzy with a headache for a couple of days and Cheeseball was dizzy and throwing up a little this morning, but seems to feel better now. We have been really blessed with good health this year and have hardly missed anything due to illness.

Love to Anna

2009-07-01T10:51:00.000-07:00

A couple of days ago, we got the call that Husband's grandmother passed away at age 95. It was not unexpected but it's sad that I'll never get to see her throw her hands up in the air and laugh again.

I met her 15 years ago, right at the time Husband and I were engaged. We spent an afternoon talking while Husband and his dad were involved with something at the DMV, and she told me about how she was born very premature, and how her parents kept her in a match box in the oven and fed her gruel to keep her alive. She also recalled that Husband's dad was born with a tooth and said that when she was pregnant she felt so great she wanted to be up chopping wood. She had great stories about the interesting people that comprised Husband's family. She wasn't one to mince words, and when she paid a compliment, you knew it was absolutely sincere. (A few years ago--probably before their cousin Dave had kids--she told someone that Husband and his twin brother were the best fathers in the world, which of course I have to agree with). She was a very strong woman, and she raised her children to be hard working, good, and happy. She was a remarkable, fabulous woman, and I thought enough of her to give her name to one of daughters.

Her last years were diminished, just as with many in my family. Everytime I saw her (maybe once or twice a year) she seemed a little bit less of her self. She would sit around quiet, almost like she wasn't there. I hate what old age does to people, how it robs them of themselves. But I believe she is now in full command of her mind and chatting it up with many of her loved ones who went before her.

Say Hi to Twila--I'm sure the two of you would like to talk about how great Husband is:)

2009-07-01T10:42:00.000-07:00

So I survived cub day camp. It was mostly fun--the only downer was when all the boys had to sit down in the mid-day heat, after hours of fun activity, and listen to a teenage boy drone on about "Leave No Trace," the Scouts' new environmental initiative.

In the later afternoon, as I was serving my family by taking a nap (who wants to be around me when I'm cranky and tired?) Janey noticed that Goose was singing, "Bye-bye pretty hair." She looked up and Goose had cut her bangs and the side of her hair short, short, short.

We're missing Beulah, she's off at YW camp but should be home this afternoon.

I took Goose in this morning for a hair cut. Her bangs are so short they almost don't exist and the stylist at Fantastic Sam's suggested an A-line cut to try to blend the sides. I just keep remembering that hair grows really fast.

Orange You Glad She Didn't Choose White?

2009-06-24T10:58:00.000-07:00

Not really! Janey managed to convince me to paint her room yesterday, and she choose a color called Orange Juice. It is the exact color of it's name and the frustrating thing is that even after two coats, the laveneder color that had been all the wall previously still peeks out. Yikes! I'm also annoyed that whenever I paint, it looks like a 10 year-old did it all.

Buelah survived Trek. Her face is almost healed from her horrible sunburn. I was happy that her only complaints were the sunburn and mosquito bites (both were signficant!)

I am healing nicely from my fall last week. All in all, the biking is going pretty well. I still dread going up big hills (not because I'm worried of falling, but because I am lazy!) and we've avoided them the past couple of times.

Our weeds have come back with a vengeance but I have one tiny little tomato growing on a plant, so I am thrilled.

The summer is going pretty well. Janey is the only kid who has been busy. T-Bone and I have a date to go to Cub Day Camp next week and I've been having nightmares about it. Seriously.

Going Downhill . . .

2009-06-14T10:26:00.000-07:00

. . . is not always a bad thing. Husband and I have been trying to ride our bikes every few days. I am very discouraged about how little body strength I have as I try to pedal uphill. We made it to the parking lot by Timponoagos cave last week but I had to stop three times to catch my breath and rest. I don't especially like when we go down the steep hills, especially when my bike feels even the slightest bit wobbly and there are lots of curves, but when we're close to the bottom and we're safe I can finally relax and enjoy the speed and the jolt of energy from all the endorphins that come from the earlier exertion.

I was very annoyed to learn that Beulah was able to ride as far as I can (she goes with her dad when I don't because we're sharing my bike). I'll just have to work harder.

I have enjoyed the moisture and cool temperatures lately but I'm afraid my basil is gone, gone, gone. I had just planted it figuring that now we're in June, it'll be warm enough, but I was wrong. It's barely standing in my garden, all limp and shrivelly.

Feeling Antsy

2009-05-30T16:36:00.000-07:00

Imagine this:
A man of unfathomable wealth has one driving ambition. The only thing he want to do in his life is wipe out ants. If he worked really hard, and he hired lackeys all over the world to work equally hard with him, do you think it's at all possible that he could really make a dent in the overall ant population? Let's imagine them flying to the jungles of South America and Africa, with untold packs of insecticide, cycling across the badlands of South Dakota and tossing ant traps to the left and right. They work in cities, farms, unincorporated areas and islands, too. Could the Anti-Ant Man and his helpers make a difference?

My answer: Not a chance.

I tried working in the yard today with the kids. And as I was ruthlessly trying to attack weeds I kept noticing that my ankles were being bitten by ants. They are all over the place. While I do admire the ant work ethic, I've been on bad terms with the insect ever since they invaded our home in California and we had to have Terminix come and spray over and over again. Goose has had a particular aversion to them ever since a few got on her feet and bit her a couple of summers ago--they are the one creature that she seems to be terrified of. I don't want to spray insecticide next to the food I'm trying to grow. Grrr.

We went to the library today without Husband. Not an easy task. We got a lot of books. I hope it'll be a fun summer full of reading. I finally have These Is My Words to read, I'm so excited. We also have a few books from Beulah's list to read: A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, The Alchemist (which I think I better read before she does just in case?), and Life of Pi (which sounds so dull I hope I don't have to read). I've just finished a couple of fun YA books (Hunger Games and the Wanderer and the crown jewel of the English language, Middlemarch. I'm so grateful for the library.

Thoughts from Book Club

2009-05-20T12:58:00.000-07:00

I have a monthly book club that consists of ladies from around the neighborhood and in my ward. It's one of the only things I do to be social (I am, after all, a basic homebody) and it is always fun to attend. No matter what, we always end up talking about the struggles and joys of motherhood. Sometimes I get really involved in the conversations but other times I find myself floating away . . . I don't know much, but I do know that everyone is different. Last night most everyone was lamenting about the upcoming summer with the kids being home, but this one honest woman looked up and said that she cries all day when her kids go back to school. I am a mixed bag. I love having my kids home and around me. I like to be with them. But I hate when I lose my temper and when I yell and when they fight. I'm trying to come up with some vague, loose strategies for spending our time this summer. We'll see how they go. But back to book club. We're always trying to expiate our guilt--like if we tell everyone that we yell at our kids, it somehow becomes less of a problem. And then there's the comments we make as we try to make other people feel better about their own children, "Well, I like assertive kids like Suzy better because they tell you what you want and besides, kids need to be strong in today's world." It's a great comment if you're Suzy's mom. But if it's your kid who is lost in Suzy's shadow, it doesn't make you feel so good. And then we all get back to the mantra--"Just take your emotion out of discipline." Yeah, yeah, we all know that's true but this emotional beast has yet to learn to be tamed, despite years of trying. Ugh. It's much more fun when our book club talks about sex.

This Is Why I Have Kids

2009-05-14T13:12:00.000-07:00

Sometimes the way Goose talks cracks me up. She can't say her "L"s, so today as I was buckling her in her carseat, she looked at me carefully and said, "Don't run over any wowwee powwees" (Ever since we had some heavy rain a few weeks ago and there were worms all over the driveway, she's been worried about little creatures getting smooshed when I back up. Rolly Polly bugs are her current favorite)

T-Bone had a good birthday, I think. He is such a wonderful boy. As he was opening a present (a lego halefire droid), Cheeseball said, "Hey, I want that." And T-B0ne looks at him and says, "It can be both of ours." Whenever we play Settlers of Catan, T-B0ne never wants to put the robber on anyone's resources--so Cheeseball, who is usually his partner and is much more ruthless in games--ends up calling those shots. If he ever gets candy, he always shares it with the whole family, giving us each a part. He just got a guinea pig and he knew it was a girl and he named it Sarah. For mother's day, he gave me a framed list of reasons why he loves me and when I read, "You weed the garden even when nobody helps you!" I had to burst into tears. Somtimes being a mom is so rewarding.

Still have stuff to work on...

2009-05-01T09:33:00.000-07:00

My thoughts are muddled today. Janey's hand procedure went well a couple of days. I hated to have her go under sedation and I'm hoping that they can remove the pins from her pinky without having to put her out again. The doctor who performed the "surgery" spoke with me for about 10 seconds--enough to quip that maybe Janey should give up playing ball for cheerleading--and then he was off. I spoke with his PA, Chad, most of the time. He has a much better bedside manner.

I've been picking the heads of the dandilions in our lawn. This year it's an epidemic. We put down the weed and feed but I think we have so many weeds that the treatment won't be sufficient.

I'm feeling twinges of guilt because I keep looking for opportunities to serve and then letting them slip past me. For instance, someone needed a sitter for a baby and a three year old today for five hours and I did not volunteer. I reasoned that I'm already babysitting and that I do laundry on Friday and didn't want to have to babyproof my stairs, but the truth is, it didn't serve my convenience and I didn't want to do it. (Miss Perfect down the street is watching them, btw, and I don't say, "Miss Perfect" disparagingly; she's service-oriented, faithful, positive, and talented--all qualities I need to increase in myself). I really do admire those people who sacrfice their own comforts and desires in order to help others.

As a final note, I would advise all grocery stores to move coughing, sniffling workers away from the bagging areas in this time of heightened sensitivity to swine flu.... :)

Ouch!

2009-04-22T09:26:00.000-07:00

I've been trying to talk the kids into playing basketball on the little court in our backyard. They all need the exercise and let's face it, most need a lot more experience with handling a ball. So for Family Home Evening, I was pleased that T-Bone chose b-ball for the activity. Beulah refused to participate--she didn't want to be seen playing with her family (and that's probably an okay thing; there were a lot of people out and I'm not sure any of us looked terribly coordinated) but the rest of us were out there. We laughed when Goose carried the ball across the court ("Traveling" the kids all yelled) and then Husband picked her up and let her dunk the ball in the basklet. We cheered when someone scored. It was pretty fun. Until the ball hit Janey's hand the wrong way and her pinky was turned at a funny angle. I called my very kind doctor neighbor and she came out and said it looked dislocated. She tried to pop the joink back into place and Janey cried and cried. When it wouldn't go, my friend said that a tendon could be damaged and we should go to an emergency room. So we went to an urgent care, got an x-ray, and learned the pinky was broken. So now Janey has a splint on. Tomorrow she'll see a sports medicine doctor and maybe get it rewrapped or set. She has earned the distinction of being the first child in our family to break a bone. Way to go!

TV, Birthdays, and Why Do We Have Any Pets?

2009-04-18T18:06:00.000-07:00

Okay, I'm still reeling from the revelation at the end of last week's 24 episode that Tony the Tiger is indeed an Agent of Evil. We all had our worries about him. . . . The funny thing is, all the TV shows Husband and I enjoy together have these morally amibiguous characters. Are they completely evil . . . or not? When we watched Alias there were always questions about Sloane. In Heroes, there's Angela and Nathan Petrelli and the cheerleader's dad, in Lost there's Ben and Sawyer, In Smallville there was Lionel Luther and now there's Tess Mercer. A strict analysis will usually show that all these charcters are bad guys (Sawyer?), but the writers of the shows like to throw in some twists just to make everyone more interesting and challenge some of the viewers' assumptions. It works for me.

Goose's birthday celebration was great. The kids loved blowing up balloons and decorating with streamers. Even though she's three years old now, her brothers and sisters still treat her as if she's the best thing that ever happened to us. T-Bone was so excited to show her her presents and Cheeseball picked out something special for her and Janey ended up getting her two gifts.

Goose loved everything and had a great day. She received a Jessie doll which is her new favorite thing (Toy Story 2 is her current movie of choice).

The gerbils escaped the night after we returned from AZ. Janey spent around five hours trying to catch them the following day and finally did, enduring a nasty, blood-drawing bite in the process. Beulah and I helped out a bit but in the end, Janey did it herself by closing off the gerbil's path of escape from behind the dryer. She must have been frustrated because when I asked what I should make for dinner, animal-loving Janey quipped, "Gerbil Pot Pie."

Why are we considering getting chicks?

Thoughts in the Night

2009-04-11T09:24:00.000-07:00

As we were nearing the end of our big drive, in the wee, wee hours of the night, I was listening to my mp3 player to keep me awake at the wheel. We put my U2 Singles CD on it (the CD was a very surprising and thoughtful gift from Beulah for Christmas back in 2007) and it was fun to hear Bono whispering in my ear, keeping me calm and focused. And then while listening to "Pride," I heard the words, "One man betrayed with a kiss," and I was reminded of the whole reason for Easter and of the reality of Jesus Christ's life, betrayal, atonement, death and resurrection. I felt so grateful for His sacrifice for me and I know that I need to be a better follower.

Cow Poetry

2009-04-01T11:19:00.001-07:00

I used to have this Far Side cartoon, called "Cow Poetry," taped to my mirror. I grew up with a father in whose heart cows held a hallowed place. (He was raised on a small scale dairy farm). I also wrote terrible poetry as a teenager (I have since told Beulah that every teenager has to go through a phase of writing maudlin poems) and can't help remberering how self-important I felt writing my little thoughts. This picture makes me laugh at myself.

Six Things that Make Me Cry

2009-03-30T08:34:00.000-07:00

6. Singing the national anthem

5. Tragedy

4. Cheesy moments in movies--I am so embarrassed by this.

3. Realizing how far away I am from who I should be

2. Witnessing the performance of beauty

1. Having Beulah and Janey fight. When they were little they loved each other and played so well but for the past five years it's just gone downhill. I hope it will be better someday.

Maybe I've just have a rough weekend. . . .

Now that's Exciting!

2009-03-21T14:35:00.000-07:00

Here are a few things that thrill me:
Getting the chance to eat something new and different that someone has made
Harvesting food from seeds I have planted
Playing in waves at the beach
Beating Husband when playing games
Taking a successful, uninterrupted nap
Reading a good book
Watching my children play cooperatively
Helping kids at school learn
Finding good deals at DI

Have We Taken this Princess Thing Too Far?

2009-03-15T08:49:00.000-07:00

The other day at dinner Goose had spilled some drink on her shirt. She does not like to to be wet and she started screaming, as usual. And then I listened to her. She yelled, "Take off my shirt, I command you!" We all turned and looked at her and then kids all burst out laughing.

T-Bone is slowly adding to his Lego Castle collection. I like to see him absorbed in fantasy play. Having our tv (and hence PlayStation) out of commission for a few weeks after Christmas was the best thing ever because it forced him and Cheeseball to play with their toys.

Beulah babysat her cute little cousin at our house the other night. She spent most of the time with him and Goose downstairs in the toy room. Who knows what they were doing but it must have been fun because he was sad to leave.

Janey has handled loosing Boon pretty well. I think it still pains her that I talk of it with such ease.

Cheeseball was in our room at the crack of dawn and said, "It it St. Patrick's day." "No," I mumbled, "that's in two days." "Well," he said, "today's the last day I can make the leprechaun trap for school." "Okay, we'll do it later." I said and then rolled over back to sleep. I guess it's time to get cracking.

The Deed is Done :(

2009-03-10T19:50:00.000-07:00

Today I brought Boon to our animal shelter. I had posted an ad for him on the online classifieds, but once I decided he had to go, I had to do it as soon as possible so the kids couldn't talk me out of it. Last Saturday he had gotten off his line--again--and was in someone's yard jumping up at her kids and freaking out their dogs and just wouldn't go away. She tried calling me once she learned it was my dog, but I was away. I didn't find out about the specifics until today. Anyway, it's just happened one too many times and I can't have it on my conscience that my dog is over in someone else's yard driving them crazy and causing them to be unhappy. And unfortunately, Boon can occasionally manage to get off his line, not to mention the times when Goose inadvertantly lets him out of the house. The three middle kids have taken it badly--Janey and T-Bone came with me to the animal shelter to say good-bye and it was hard to hear them crying. It's probably the hardest to have my sweet and tender most middle child be sad. The dumb dog just needs a good fence, and we don't have one. While I was at the shelter, someone called from the add (of course). She called back later and I told her that he was at the shelter and she sounded interested enough that she will probably go down and at least check him out.
I felt so cold about the whole process; I wasn't even sad as I signed the papers and shut him up in the kennel, I just knew it had to be done. It makes me a little sad now; he is a sweet, cute dog. But we just didn't have what he needed. On that cold November night when we got him 16 months ago, I had a little voice say to me that this would be a mistake. But we had gone too far and I didn't want to disappoint the kids. So know instead of disappointing them, I've devastated them. I don't think any of them were truly attached to him the way some people love their dogs, but they liked him enough that the feel the lack of him.
I hate being a mean mom.

Nothing New Under the Sun

2009-03-06T08:16:00.000-08:00

Here is my problem with Obama: Everything he is doing (wanting to get more involved in health care, raising taxes on the rich, giving goodies to unions, bowing to environmental lobbyists, etc) is old, old news and straight out of the Democrat playbook of the past century. I realize that everything I want (less taxes, less federal government interference with health care and education and land rights) is straight out of a conservative playbook too. But the thing is, Obama's rhetoric was so fabulous that somehow everyone thought he would be different and do something new. But it's the same annoying policies wrapped up with dashing eloquence and I'm so annoyed that I emailed my congressman and told him I didn't want taxes increased and charitable contributions made less deductible.
As I look back over the past year, there was only one politician who really seemed to say something different and bold to me and it was Ron Paul. Why didn't I support him? Maybe I'm like most Americans in that I'm scared of bold change and instead prefer to whine.

PS I don't have complaints about Michelle but I am weary of her coverage. Do you think the newspapers would rave over Cindy McCain's bare arms or just accuse her of being tacky and self-promoting?

The Older I Get the Less I Know

2009-02-26T10:18:00.000-08:00

I have had a revelation! This might not seem like a lot but I am very often a social idiot, so I'm glad I've had my eyes open at least. Anyway, here goes: Manners, or ettiquite, protect us from the unpleasant consequences of faulty assumptions. Or, as my "interpersonal communications" teacher taught in high school, "When you "ass u me" you make am "ass" out of "u" and "me." Recently I had a neighbor (neighbor A) talk to me and as we spoke it became apparent that another neighbor's (neighbor B) actions or lack thereof were driving her crazy.
It's hard to condense everything into a brief version but basically the Neighbor B had assumed that Neighbor A didn't care at all if B's kids were all over the play equipment or if B's husband took it upon himself to "fix" the broken equipment so that his kids could play on it safely. After all, she assumed because no one ever said anything no one cared and because the slide hadn't been fixed right away it wasn't going to be fixed unless she did it. Or maybe I'm just assuming what B was thinking. The point is, if everyone had good manners, permission would have been asked before the equipment was played on or fixed. There were a few other issues of irritation we discussed but ultimately they all came down to assuming a person felt a certain way or had a particular motiviation which might not have even been the case. But if people had just behaved in a mannerly way--asking permission, respecting privacy, inviting others and not asking "nervy" questions, then many assumptions which are probably wrong would have never been made. So maybe I need to check out a Miss Manner's book so I can brush up on my behavior.

Speakers

2009-02-20T14:53:00.000-08:00

A couple of months ago, I was in a service station restroom with Goose, when all of a sudden, we heard a loud voice boom into the room. Goose looked all around and wanted to know who was talking. I told her the sound came from the speaker. "Speaker," she said. Well, a few weeks later, a similar thing occurred in a Costco restroom. "Speaker." Well, it has recently come to Goose's attention that there are speakers everywhere, and I know she wants me to tell her how they work. The more I try to explain, the more I realize that I haven't the foggiest notion of how speakers do what they do. But she is so excited about them--"They make me happy" she said smilingly to me and Beulah as she was looking at the speakers dotting the ceiling of our chapel. And happy is a good thing to be.

Tales of a Goose and Which Mr. Rochester?

2009-02-13T15:15:00.000-08:00

Goose was just standing in front of a mirror, holding up one of Beulah's necklaces, and swinging it back and forth. She was singing to herself, "Necklace, necklace, necklace, breaking necklace, breaking necklace, necklace is all gone, necklace is all gone." At that point, I retrieved the necklace and saw that in fact it was not broken (but not for lack of trying!).

She is noticing that everyone has come home today with candy. No one's stash is safe, I'm afraid. My adventures in babysitting have been going pretty well. The little girl I watch is very sweet and easy. Today, she and Goose played pretty well together. I find I am grateful that I seem to have two of everything--two strollers, two zip-up lunch boxes, two stuffed elephants that we can pretend are babies. I did "preschool" this week with the two little girls plus three others. It was much less structured than when I did it with T-Bone and Beulah, but seeing that Goose isn't even three yet, I'm not too concerned. She didn't handle it very well and was very upset when the other girls wanted to sit in her booster chair. I don't think she could identify the letter "Q" if our lives all depended on it, in spite of my best efforts.

Husband and I are halfway through (waiting for Netflix to ship the other disc) the 2006 Masterpiece Theater version of Jane Eyre. I think I have seen at least

one (Orson Wells)

two (William Hurt)

three (Ciaran Hinds)

four (Timothy Dalton)

versions of it so far besides the current one (Toby Stevens)

and it amazes me that I can still be interested in the story. I am not sure what my favorite version is, because I can't remember the William Hurt or Orson Wells ones very clearly. The sexual tension is the best in the Ciaran Hinds movie, especially when he pulls her closes and growls something along the lines of, "I can feel that you want me." I do believe he is the best Mr. Rochester. I'm not sure I approve of the man, of course, being that he wants to drag the pure Jane into a bigamous marraige, but I like his passion.

Okay, I've wasted way to much time harvesting pictures for this excursion and now I am done.

Morning Update

2009-02-08T07:37:00.000-08:00

Today Goose woke up early and Husband got her and brought her into bed. Fortunately she fell asleep again and everyone was able to sleep in. She is currently writhing around on the floor.
T-Bone and William are playing something downstairs invovlving their castle legos.
Boon Dog is still here.
Janey is enjoying an extra long sleep in; she finished up her science fair project last night.
Beulah is sleeping in but when awake is contemplating the shape of her eyebrows.
Husband's knees are recovering from our trip to the office yesterday when we glued the the trimmed carpet pieces to the wall. It looks MUCH better now.
I am wondering if I'm going to make breakfast cake this morning. I probably will, and here is the recipe:
2 c. flour (we like whole wheat)
1 T. baking powder
1 t. salt
1 c. sugar
1/3 c. butter.
Mix the above ingredients (I actually use my bare hands; using a pastry cutter would be better but I don't have one) until the butter is pea-sized.
Add:
2 eggs
1 c. milk
1 heaping T. sour cream
1/2-1 c. berries.
Put in a 9 x 13 pan.
For the topping:
Mix 1/2 c. brown sugar, 1 t. cinnamon, 1/3 c. flour and 1/4. butter (add a lot more brown sugar, because everyone always wants more. Or maybe just double everything; I always kind of wing this part) until crumbly. Sprinkle on top of the cake and bake for thirty minutes at 375.
Lately the topping has been sinking in. I think it's a result of the type of wheat I use. I'm not much of a presentation person so it don't care where the sugar is as long as I can taste it. :)

Just a Touch of Perspective

2009-02-03T08:15:00.000-08:00

A couple of weeks ago we were playing a family game (Ticket to Ride, I think) and Beulah was at the computer, working on her homework and dabbling with Facebook and listening to music. All of a sudden, I realized that she was on one of those websites that allows you to play whatever song you want. I had to take over and I made her play all these songs from my youth that I used to love and be moved and invigorated by and I'm sad to report that Johnny Rotten has lost his appeal for me. I mean, the music we heard, "Rise," was accompanied by a video that 's probably 20 years old and in it he looked like a worried old lady. Nineteen years ago, I loved the man. I saw him in concert three times and once I even smuggled in a queen sized sheet emblazoned with the spraypainted words "WE WANT YOUR BODY" to one of the shows and tried to unfurl it from my nosebleed seat to get his attention. But back the music. The song just wasn't as exciting as it used to be. The same went for "Lie to Me" and songs from Front 242. I wonder what's changed in me? There are some songs from my youth that still get my blood going: "White Lines" by Grandmaster Flash will always, always be fun to dance to and last week in the car I heard the RUN-DMC version of "Walk This Way," and I turned up the volume all the way and loved it all over again (good thing it was in the dark so no one could see me dancing and trying to sing in my seat--not a pretty picture.) But I guess a lot of the songs that I thought were politically interesting or intellectually challenging really . . . aren't. Or maybe I'm just trying to be cool in a different, thirtysomething way.

Well, life has is challenges but it's still pretty good. I'm reading a book that has transported me to a different time and place and that's always fun.

Well, I'm off to meet with Beulah and her counselor to chose 9th grade classes. What fun!

Time

2009-01-25T08:41:00.000-08:00

I often find myself wasting time and that goes against my philosophical outlook. Rationally, I understand that there are only 24 hours in the day and that every moment you let escape is one you can never again have. Yet I use my time so poorly. Part of it is that I don't like a lot of structure. I like to to have wiggle room (on my own terms, of course, please don't subject me to your needs for wiggle room). I find that the more things I have to do in a day, the shorter my temper and the more tense I become. Maybe it's because I'm inherently selfish and just want to do what I want to do. . . . Yeah, that's probably it.

I keep thinking about learning more on the computer so I can make my blog cuter or get into Beulah's stuff and find out what she's doing, but again that requires time and discipline. And I find that when I'm trying to make things cute on the computer I really want to start from scratch and do it all my own way, which takes FOREVER of course. (I once spent I don't know how many hours trying to make a newsletter cute, and in the end it would have been so much nicer and quickly done if I just used an available templete.) I think I have a need to create that I simply have to channel into something that is practical and useful.

On another note, the funeral for my grandma was lovely. It was so good to see all the family, and I really enjoyed hearing everyone talk about what a great lady she was. I kept seeing the RS ladies darting back and forth with food, working and cleaning to make sure everything was nice. As we were eating, it occured to me that everything I put in my mouth was made by someone who donated their time and substance out of love, and I felt so grateful and resolved that from now on, when there are funerals happening I will be sure to bring something.

Twila, Part 2

2009-01-20T10:51:00.000-08:00

Well, I got the call this morning that my grandma passed away last night. I know she is in a better place and with her family and friends who went before her. I want to just share a few memories and thoughts: Whenever she and Grandpa would come down to my childhood home in San Diego, she would make Cream Puffs and fill them full with vanilla pudding. She gave us coins from her purse. When my younger brother's leg was broken and he was confined to a body cast, she made tapes of herself reading books so he could listen to them (I would listen, too, of course). She wrote me faithfully while we lived in Scotland and I was lonely for correspondence. She made fun salads with baby shrimp and jello. I spent most of my Thanksgivings while I was at college with her and Grandpa, and she would always make a good meal and then hurry to clean it up--without the benefit of a dishwasher. Before we ate Grandpa would always look at her and say, "Well, I suppose I ought to say it," and she would look at him with a feigned reservation and say, "I suppose you should," and then he'd say, "Well, it's good to get a square meal for once." She liked to make cookies and peanut brittle at Christmas. She liked looking after her those who were in need and would pick up the mail for her ailing neighbors. The last few years before she left her home in Downey she would bake angel food cakes for funerals. She claimed to buy them by the case. She and Grandpa were always busy in the shop, making things for people--building desks, beds, shelves, and blocks. Whenever we visited her in her new home, the kids would always get out the blocks to play and she'd look at them and say, "That was a good toy that we made. I don't know how many hundreds of boxes of blocks we made out in the shop." She was proud and grateful for her children and she especially liked Husband, because he would always help clean up after meals without being asked. She didn't care much about material things and was generous her substance. She liked to go for rides in the car and enjoyed doing word search puzzles. She crocheted when she was younger and made afgans and rugs. She was always cheerful and fun to visit, and had a paper taped to her wall that said "I am determined to be cheerful and happy in whatever situation I may find myself. For I have learned that the greater part of our misery or unhappiness is determined not by our circumstance but by our disposition." What a wonderful lady, the world needs more like her.

Twila

2009-01-18T08:13:00.000-08:00

I've been thinking about my grandma again. My dad explains that she is lost in time and space, and whenever he says that it makes me think about her floating around in a black cosmos studded with with stars. She gets increasingly confused about where she is and when she is and forgets who's alive and who's dead. And yet she can be such a pleasure to visit with. The children just nod and smile when she asks them for the fifth time how their summer vacation is, but she always shows such interest in them and chuckles with pleasure to see Goose doing her cute two-year-old things. She's been sick this week and who knows how much more time she has here. The thing about Grandma is that the vast majority of her life she has been so helpful and energetic and contributing. She has done so much good to her family and neighbors. Old age seems so unfair in the things that it takes from people.

Special Thoughts from My Children

2009-01-15T14:14:00.000-08:00

"When I say you're fat, I don't mean 'fat.' I mean dumb, boring, and fat."--Beulah
"This is so hot that it feels cold."--Cheeseball
"Goose's gerbil does half the pooping so she has do half the work cleaning the cage."--Janey
Some history here. I first say, 'T-Bone, why is it that all your school writing is about PlayStation. "I didn't do my first draft of the story about PlayStation; it was about Gameboy."--T-Bone
"I want my gerbil RIGHT NOWWWWWWWWW!"--Goose

Cough up the crown and nobody gets hurt

2009-01-09T13:46:00.001-08:00

Goose likes to quote lines from her favorite movie, Scooby Doo in Where's My Mummy? The above is an example, but she also says, "Out of the sandbox kids, playtime is over!" Sometimes she mixes the two and says, "Out of the sandbox and nobody gets hurt!"

Last night we watched the first four episodes of 24 off of the FOX-TV website. I can't believe how fast it went. It was fun. I forgot that I heard that Tony the Tiger (or Le Tigre, as I like to call him) was going to be back. The freckled FBI babe is way too cute and I wish she'd get wiped out but I have a feeling that she's in for the long haul. (Poor Edgar wasn't)

Well, Costco remains my favorite place; they are paying for all the labor and parts on our lame Philips TV.
We also finally got our door fixed on the minivan. (along with the handle on the hatch, which just broke, and also replaced our taillight which had been hit by Anonymous last year.)
I went to Target this morning and made the important decision that just because something is marked down 75% doesn't mean I should buy it.

Headaches, Broken Things, and Tickets

2009-01-09T13:46:00.000-08:00

This has not been my most cheerful week. I usually never have headaches and the past week or two, I've had to take ibuprofen 3 times for headaches (compare with normally 3 times a year). I'm not sure if it's stress or if it's the colds I've had. On another note, our LCD tv (Philips)abruptly stopped working last week. It flashes a long red light and then two short red lights. Apparently, it's some sort of trouble shooting code. The problem is, Philips DOESN'T PUBLISH THEIR CODES PUBLICLY! So we have to pay someone to go "look up" the code to tell us what's wrong. Now maybe every other brand in the industry is the same way, but I think it's completely dishonest and lousy of them to not tell the owners of their products how to figure out what is wrong with them. I will never purchase from Philips again, rest assured. (not to mention that the tv was a mere 19 months old. We had our previous tv 10 years and we only got rid of it because we bought the bigger one and I didn't want two tvs in our home.) Our van hatch handle broke yesterday and now the only way to open the trunk of the minivan is to send out Husband with a screwdriver. We'll have to bring it into the shop next week, I guess. Our vacuum broke last week (because I whacked it because it had clogged up and stopped spinning again, even though I had just cleared it out.) And one of our kids stepped in a kitchen drawer and broke it. Our computer was not turning on but thankfully husband was able to fix it by removing some broken parts out of a USB port.
To make our week even better, we received a ticket in the mail courtesy of a speed enforcement camera, which accused us going 70 in a 55 zone (of course, that was when we were merging onto the freeway; we we're always going with the flow of traffic).
So I've been a bit grumpy. I hope my next post will be more cheerful.

A New Year

2009-01-02T13:50:00.000-08:00

Yesterday Husband decided he wanted to go sledding. It took a little doing to rally the troops but finally everyone was dressed and ready to go. I was planning to stay home with Goose and Beulah, but as I looked around I saw that Goose was getting her boots on and she was talking about going. I realized that I don't have to be a stick in the mud all the time (the note about me that says "I'm a free wheeling mama" is quite tongue in cheek) and that I could actually go and watch her so that we could both participate with the family. We drove around and around and around and finally settled on a hill by a church which had about a dozen people (including little kids) going down a little slope. We have 3 two-person sleds, and I insisted that Goose could go down only with Husband. I also decided that I was too chicken to go down by myself, so I joined up with Janey, and T-Bone and Cheeseball went down together. I can't believe how fast we went as we headed down the hill. I had to close my eyes and pray that I wouldn't die. (And Husband told me later that we were on the "slow" sled.) We all went down several times and Janey and T-Bone both went off the jump (T-Bone had was unfortunately thrown off his sled, but he was okay), I went down once with Rob and Goose, and once with Cheeseball. (I kept telling him I was scared to go down with me being the person who was supposed to be in charge but he assured me we'd be okay.) It was so fun. Goose had a great time. She kept throwing herself down on the sled as if she could just will it to move by being on top of it (she is used to getting her own way, after all).

The Man of the Hour

2008-12-30T08:55:00.000-08:00

So yesterday Husband went to work and I began the long process of laundry (over 8 loads!) and putting away Christmas. The children were assembling the different lego/bionicle goodies they received: T-Bone was working hard on a Skeleton Tower, Cheeseball was working on a skeleton carriage, and Janey was working on some wierd undersea creature. Well, it wasn't long until Cheeseball needed a little assistance getting a piece attached. I glanced at the instuctions, looked at the legos, looked back at the instructions and said, "Uh, sorry, no help from me." So he implored his brother to help. T-Bone stopped what he was doing and came over to help him. A little bit later, Janey called, needing some help. Again I looked, shrugged, and said, "Sorry! I can't do this." So she went up to T-Bone and again he helped. I needed the dishwasher emptied and it was T-Bone's turn and he came as soon as I called. The kids spent several hours on their projects and T-Bone continued to be interrupted and asked for help. All the while he was working on this tricky tower and then a bionicle and then a Naboo space craft. He never complained. I guess it's good to be needed.

Goose has taken to speaking with her scary voice. She growls deep in her throat and what comes out is a mixture of Darth Vader and the Exorcist. She is such a little girl and I just can't get used to it.

Janey is trying to get me to sign a set of laws she has created for the better running of our home. They include (but are not limited to): Boon is mayor of Our Town and will be respected. All punished people will be punished by Janey. No popping of balloons." She cracks me up; she loves to draw up contracts. I have refused to sign, by the way.

We played Murder in the Dark as a family last night. In the past we have always done the winking method (and Cheeseball would always keep his eyes closed so he couldn't be killed), but this time we did the hand squeeze way. T-Bone and I both suceeded in killing everyone before we were caught!

Some things are easy, others are hard

2008-12-28T07:44:00.000-08:00

Our return trip home from Christmas in Arizona was easy and uneventful (except for the few minutes a certain member of our family had to spend outside the car while regaining composure). The roads were perfectly clear, traffic was light, and crossing the dam was pretty quick, despite the dire roads signs which warned of significant delays.
Our visit was good, except for the part where I went pyscho and became the worst version of myself. Fortunately others are patient and forgiving.
As we were driving back, we found a radio station where a bunch of commentators with British accents were discussing progress and space and life and one of them said something along the lines of, "We're not even sure about the idea of free will, whether people really have choices or not." Of course that flies in the face of what I believe, but the truth is, for me, changing myself is the hardest thing there is. It is so easy to continue being the way I am and so hard--too hard, it seems--to change. I guess that's why true change requires something outside of ourselves to help us be better. Grace provided for by the atonement, I guess it is. Boy do I need some of that and soon!
On a side note, I've resolved to stop in Boulder City (I think that's the name) instead of Las Vegas for any gas or food needs, and be very wary of the Burger Kings on the outskirts of small towns. . . .

Oh, the Dam Traffic!

2008-12-25T11:32:00.000-08:00

Yeah! It's Christmas and it has been wonderful. Our normally 11.5 hour trip telescoped to over 13 hours, thanks to patches of icy roads, several misguided attempts to find Little Caesars, and the horrible traffic over the Hoover Dam. But it all went well--we were safe and happy and even reasonably happy, although the power cord for our portable DVD player wasn't working so we couldn't enjoy a movie. The kids are truly enjoying being with their cousins and it has been nice and relaxing. The lack of snow has also been a plus.

What a wonderful thing it is to celebrate the birth of the Savior of the world. Merry Christmas!

It's Beginning to Look a lot Like Christmas

2008-12-22T06:39:00.001-08:00

Well we are supposed to be heading out for our Christmas trip adventure today but the weather forecasts haven't been encouraging. I found a sitter from the online classifieds for Boon Dog, but I'm a little concerned because she lives in a trailer park. . . . It's not like I have a love for the animal, but Cheeseball in particular has been getting closer to him and even put Boon's name on his school-made stocking.
We had a nice weekend. Janey had a good birthday and she was happy with her party and we got to see some of my family (though Husband and I have been outed as the worst Trivial Pursuit players ever), and we're going to be able to see Husband's family for Christmas. The kids are so excited to be with their cousins and I'll be grateful to have my fun and fearless sister-in-law to keep me happy. Husband has been warned to not spend all his time fishing and at the electronics store. We'll see how that pans out!
Above all else right now, I am feeling very grateful. Our lives are so blessed and we have so many excellent opportunities and soon there will be presents and yummy food and chances to think about Jesus.
And on a cheesy last note, I have to add that I am really loving the Christmas music that is all around. A couple of days ago, I was in the car and I heard "Ave Maria" and it was just about the prettiest thing ever. I almost choked when I heard the DJ say the singer was Barbara Streisand, but I guess you have to hand it to her, she has a beautiful voice. Okay, and for the song that I'm most embarressed to admit I'm moved by: "Mary, Did You Know?" by Kenny Rogers. The music is that soft rock stuff that has never sat well with me but the lyrics are so sweet,
"Did you know
That your baby boy has walked where angels trod?
And when you kiss your little boy
You've kissed the face of god"

Too perfect for words

2008-12-18T08:24:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I love the snow. Today I walked outside with Boon. The snow was falling softly and everything was white and silent. I don't know if falling snow provides insulation from sound, but everything seemed so quiet and peaceful and clean and good. It was a perfect moment. As I go through life I occasionally find moments of perfection, when all the elements come together without flaw, and I am moved to a point beyond my ability to articulate. Sometimes it happens in a book (the Book Thief had several moments that I remember with gratitude), many times it happens in music (Brahms has a beautiful, gentle piano waltz), and every once in a while it happens with my family, when we're all together and happy and safe. I thank God for these moments and for the hope of more to come.

Want a dog?

2008-12-16T13:45:00.001-08:00

AGH! Now that the weather is snowy, when Boon has to go potty, we want to be able to open the door, let him out and have him return, just like a boomerang (Boonerang?). The german shepherd next door does that. But no, Boon Dog has to be Mr. Social and he goes running through the neighborhood and ends up visiting other dogs in others' yards. We have a hard time finding him and who wants to tramp through all that snow anyway?

I've had a couple of minor crisises (how is that spelled?) the past few days as I've tried to prove myself reasonably competent. I keep thinking I can do these things that others can do but I meet with failure or my own ineptitude and end up feeling frustrated. (And I hope I didn't actually kill my wheat grinder!)

Oh, my Bookshelf to the right has only one book that I'm actually reading. (The Drummer Boy is a little gem we got from the library and Goose wants to read it at least once a day.) I hope to be reading the Hunger book soon for Book Group, and I really should be reading Gods and Generals just for my personal development.

After lunch treats

2008-12-12T11:18:00.000-08:00

So Cheeseball comes up to me after lunch and requests his "after lunch treat." He wants chocolate chips--both the regular chocolate and the white chocolate (which I just happen to have sitting around in my cupboard so I can nibble on whilst I think about making cookies). I asked him why he wanted both. He answered, "So they can battle." I then wondered aloud who would win. But Cheeseball's shirt said it all. "Never Underestimate the Power of the Dark Side." (It features Lego Star Wars characters; he's only mildly obsessed....)

Oh, Janey didn't get called back for the play:(. It's okay though, apparently none of her good friends did either. The school must have a lot of very talented children. But to be brutally honest, elementary school plays hold zero interest for me unless my child is on stage, I don't care if Shirley Temple herself would waltz out in front of the curtain. I wonder if how many other parents feel that way?
UPDATE: The light side won the chocolate chip battle, apparently one of the whites had the force extra, extra strong.

And you thought your life was exciting . . .

2008-12-11T10:03:00.000-08:00

Goose and I are doing in-depth research for the book we're writing on discount store restrooms. That's why whenever we go to Target or WalMart or Costco, bingo, she says she has to go potty and we head off to the WC. Sometimes she produces and sometimes she just sits there, and sits there, and sits there . . . . I've never been in so many store restrooms in my life.

Oh, yesterday I tried a new recipe:http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/White-Chocolate-Chocolate-Cookies/Detail.aspx?prop31=1
I think that only someone who really likes dark chocolate would appreciate them because they are so packed with cocoa (more than twice that which is in my regular brownie recipe) that they aren't very sweet, but I loved them precisely because they did satisfy my chocolate craving. I even passed up a chance to nibble on Beulah's Toblerone bar because I had had a couple of cookies an hour or two before she offered and I just didn't need any more chocolate.

Speaking of Beulah, we finished up her mop cap (or was it a muffin hat?) for her English class. We had to dig out my sewing maching and it was after an hour of whining and screaming (all mine, btw) that Beulah delicately showed me that I had threaded the maching the wrong way. Duh, duh, duh. But the hat turned out fun. We sacrficed an old piece of black velour which had been Beulah's Hermione cape from Halloween six years ago.

Here's to making things easier!

2008-12-08T09:28:00.000-08:00

Well it finally occurred to me that it was the holiday season and I wanted to be baking and making goodies. My very wise sister-in-law clued me into making gingerbread cookies with a mix. Whenever I've made them by hand it has always taken so long and been so messy and hard on my mixer and ultimately, the cookies aren't even that tasty. Well, sitting in my fridge right now is a batch of dough waiting for the kids to come home and roll and cut and it took me two or three minutes to throw together. Yeah!

Goose is trying to get Boon Dog in his crate. I don't think he believes that he has to obey her. He is amazingly patient with her poking and prodding. I think I just heard her tell that something was disgusting. Hmmm. Maybe I should check it out. . . .

Janey is trying out for a part in the Cinderella play today. She has no fear on stage and I have to say that she is adorable when she's performing. I was going to wonder where it comes from but her Dad is the biggest ham I know. The boys are fun. I am so grateful that they are good friends.

Beulah is enjoying her new haircut. She has to say she doesn't like it, occasionally, just so she's not bragging, but I know she knows she cute.

What is DNCB?

2008-12-06T04:16:00.000-08:00

Last night, about an hour and a half before we were going to go the Messiah, I discovered that Goose had gotten into this dangerous substance that I received from a dermatologist. I had thought it was out of reach but Goose had put a chair up to the dresser where I had put it and she'd gotten the lid off the vial. I don't know what she did with it; there wasn't much in the tube to begin with and I couldn't tell if any was gone. It looks like Vaseline. All that was written on the tube was "DNCB V. For external use only." (I couldn't recognize the C) I called the poison control center and the man on the phone was unable to tell me what the stuff was. It was 6:00 on a Friday evening, and I called the Dermatologist's office but he wasn't in. So then I went through the list of dermatologists in the phone book. The first one I called answered, to my surprise, and as it turned out, she was the doctor and not a receptionist. At first she didn't know what I was talking about but then she said, "Oh, there's DNCB--Dinitrocholorobenzoide (or something like that). Oh, I don't use that. It's a carcinogen." I thanked her quickly and then recalled the poison control. I told him that I'd put Goose in the bath tub immediately and washed her off in case all she had done was touch it. He told me that if she'd ingested enough to make her sick she would have problems with her red blood cells and turn blue around the lips or get lethargic. At this point we could both hear her screaming lustily, and he said it sounded like she was okay. He said he'd call back in an hour. Fortunately, Goose never should any symptoms of red blood cell destruction and when he called back she was fine.
Husband went to the Messiah early and saved a seat for me. When we determined that Goose was okay, I went and joined him. My kind father-in-law actually dropped me off so I didn't have to find a parking spot. I went running in and, can you believe it, I didn't miss the music. It was fabulous, though we didn't sing about being like sheep or the Sons of Levi.
So anyway, it's early in the morning and I can't get back to sleep and I figured I would research DNCB and then record what I learned.
There isn't a lot of info; it seems like a mildly controversial treatment for skin lesions (that's warts). Apparently it's also used in AIDS treatment. I think I dreamed about Goose getting cancer. But maybe I should be more concerned about the person who had been getting this treatment. I was never told that the substance was a "mutagen," only that it was a substance that provokes an allergic reaction on everyone who comes into contact with it. I didn't get a lot of "danger" warnings, though.

BTW, before all this drama, Beulah did my makeup. (She wants to be a cosmotolgist, she says.) It was fun, but she laid the foundation on a bit thick and I think I looked a little orange. She did a much better job on me than I did when I insisted on giving my mom a makeover twenty years ago.

God Couldn't Be Everywhere So He Created Mothers

2008-12-05T14:22:00.001-08:00

Now I am not sure my children would understand this sentiment but let me tell you. . . . Yesterday I was having a bad day and feeling angry, frustrated, and useless and then it occurred to me that I could simply call my mom. A few rings and there she was, full of support and sympathy and wisdom. I have always been able to talk with her and feel comforted and reassured by her words, as far as I can remember back in my memory. I know that everyone does not have this kind of relationship with their mothers and it's a pity because it's a wonderful thing.

Tonight is the Messiah Sing Along! I am so excited! I'm not sure what my favorite part is: I love hearing the drums boom along with "Wonderful, Counselor, the Mighty God, the Everlasting Father, the Prince of Peace." And of course I adore the Hallelujah chorus. I also really like "And he will purify the sons of Levi that they may offer unto the Lord an offering in righteousness." But I think the most personally moving part of the experience is when we all sing, repetitively in parts, "All we like sheep have gone astray, we have turned every one to his own way," and then it ends with the slowly sung truth of our salvation, "And the Lord hath laid on Him the iniquity of . . .us . . . all." I will probably bawl through the whole thing. I hope I don't see anyone I know!

A Grain of Rice

2008-12-03T14:48:00.000-08:00

I had a strange dream last night. Instead of being a lovely 2 year-old toddler my youngest child was an ant, about the size of a grain of rice. I loved her very much and I dressed her in a pink top and little white pants. I was holding her carefully and then I dropped her and she fell in a space between two pushed-together bunk beds. As I looked around the base of the beds, I kept thinking that I saw huge killer ants. I was certain they would find Goose and kill her. I continued to look but I knew I would never find her. I then remembered that I had only taken a couple of pictures of her and I cursed myself for not having more. It was not until I woke up that I remembered that Goose is actually a little girl with messy light brown hair and a magically elusive smile.

Say Cheese

2008-11-29T19:36:00.000-08:00

We took some glamour shots for the advertising inserts coming up in the next couple of weeks. I was just joking when I suggested we should put our hands up to our ears. . . .

Books I read after getting my BA in English, part A

2008-11-28T18:28:00.001-08:00

Moby Dick

Pride and Prejudice

Emma

War and Peace

Atlas Shrugged

Fountainhead

Sense and Sensibility

Persuasion

Northanger Abbey

Yes. I honestly graduated without ever having read Jane Austen. (I did read Lonesome Dove twice, though)

A Tale of Two Turkeys

2008-11-27T16:10:00.000-08:00

I think I've already established that I'm not the sharpest stick in the stack but here's an example. . . . We decided to host Thanksgiving a few days ago, and I didn't get a turkey until Tuesday afternoon. It was nearly 20 pounds. And it was frozen. I didn't even think about the thawing process. Yesterday evening I read on the bag the "quick thaw" method, which is to immerse the bird in cold water, changing it frequently. We figured we could get started at 8:00 at night and it would be ready in the morning (if you count ignoring the bird in water for the eight hours between 11:00 and 7:00 am). Well, at about 9:30 at night, I started checking different websites for turkey cooking hints. Again and again I read, "Don't leave the turkey in water; it's a breeding ground for bacteria"--(at which point I always wonder, "well, doesn't the 180 degree temperature we cook the turkey to kill all the bacteria?!) But finally I felt like I would be putting my family and guests in mortal peril if I used the bird. So I turned to my intrepid husband and asked if he could run to the grocery store and find a "fresh" turkey. It was past 10:00 at night, but he did.

So this morning I tried to follow a recipe I found on Allrecipes.com. It included directions for making a brine for the turkey, but as I checked on brining, I saw that if the turkey is prebasted you're not supposed to brine it. So I followed the instructions for the most part, cooking the turkey breast side down. I'm sorry to say that it ended up a very ugly bird. It tasted okay, and we have lots of leftovers.
The other turkey is in the freezer. I'll make it sometime in the future.

I do have a few vices

2008-11-24T08:25:00.000-08:00

Okay, whenever I watch 24 I have to go check the Dave Barry Blog for reactions. They are always hilarious. http://blogs.herald.com/dave_barrys_blog/24/index.html

We survived!

2008-11-24T07:11:00.000-08:00

Rob reinstalled the computer this weekend and hallelujah it's working so much better now. Initially he lost a lot of information (pictures and my journal entries for 4-7 years ago) but after a lot of sweat and tears (and 29.95) he was able to retrieve them. As I rechecked some of the files, I had a lot of fun looking back at what was going on when we lived in Simi Valley. I can't believe how the kids have grown and changed. It's a little disconcerting.

I took Beulah and Janey to see The Dark Knight last Saturday night. It was a very last minute decision and I can't believe we made it on time. It was good and fun. I think Christian Bale is the best Batman yet.

We haven't been able to see my grandma for a while and I feel bad. I don't know how much time she has left, but whenever we see her, she is always so grateful and good to visit with. Maybe this week when the kids are out of school.

I have to break down and buy a vacuum. I really want the Dyson at Costco for $350 but I think it's time that I don't get what I want (I always do, ultimately) and settle for a $100 vacuum, with the stipulation that we get our central vacuum system fixed in the upcoming months.

Not much is going on, I guess

2008-11-12T16:13:00.000-08:00

It's been cold and dark and rainy today.
Goose gave herself a haircut last week while Husband and I were at Mamma Mia. I liked the movie okay but I wasn't totally thrilled with it. I did like the last scene ("Take a chance on me"--didn't Yaz or Erasure do a version of it?). Goose is still beautiful, BTW.
Husband is so busy getting his office ready. He is opening on Monday and so far has scheduled two appointments for tests.
Don't you with the Dow Jones would stop going down? Come on, already. Obama's been elected, the government is going to keep saving hemorrhaging business, and the sun will shine again so let's stop selling stocks and driving down prices!
I tried to listen to Michael Medved's conspiracy show today but it was just too noisy with the kids' coming home from school.
Oh, and I am cranky because Husband is paying a sign company to do the vinyl lettering for his office door instead of buying me a Cricut and having us do it ourselves. S0 what if the quality isn't as good; I think it would be fun to be able to have a vinyl cutter!

Life goes on

2008-10-27T19:49:00.000-07:00

This afternoon we went over to the kids' school for the Falloween Ball. I helped out Cheeseball's teacher with the spider toss as Husband took the kids around to the various classrooms. Lots of parents helped out and it was really well attended. Our family had a distinct Lucasian flavor: T-Bone was Darth Vader, Cheeseball was Darth Sidious, and Janey really wanted to be Yoda, but settled for Jango Fett (alas, we couldn't find a Yoda costume).

About an hour earlier, we brought all the kids but Beulah (she was babysitting) to get flu shots. Most of us now have sore shoulders and I'm feeling strangely wheezy.

Goose continues to do very well out of diapers. She is usually dry through the night. We have a few minor struggles : she doesn't tinkle on command and she also says she has to go pottymany times when she doesn't. Sometimes she can hold it for hours and hours and sometimes she has silly accidents.

I'm reading a book that has yet to engage me--and I'm close to 300 pages into it. I'd stop reading it but there's nothing else immediately around and Husband is glued to Brisinger.

Is the end in sight?

2008-10-09T06:50:00.000-07:00

I am cautiously optimistic.

We have been potty training Goose for the past 10-11 days, and yesterday there were no accidents. I do know that it is in the nature of life for there to be vicissitudes so I should expect messes today but I can't help feeling hopeful!

We decided to kick up our efforts to train her for economic reasons. Diapers are expensive and we'd rather not have to buy them anymore.

Things are coming along for Husband's office. We bought 6 used guest chairs a couple of days ago and are looking at another half dozen with interest. The man we bought the chairs from commented that it was an interesting time to start a business. I am so grateful that we have to chance to invest in Husband and his abilities right now, because I trust his hard work, drive, and intelligence and I know he will do his best.

On a serious note, I am thinking about Proposition 8 in California. Nine years ago, we campaigned heavily for Prop. 22, which defined marriage as between a man and a woman. Even though we were canvassing a fairly conservative area, it was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do to go door to door and ask people how they were planning to vote. I hate intruding on people. But I did it because I believed in the cause. We need to have a standard, an ideal. There are a multitude of lifestyle options available, but there is one that is the best for children to be brought into, and that is a binding marriage between a man and a woman. It saddens me that some might find that a hateful position. It is not. It is the truth. I am frustrated at how our society bends to the demands of the few and the powerful and glamorous but I guess that it is nothing new. People who know what is good can't be afraid to say it, though, and I can't be afraid to support marriage as solely between a woman and a man.

2008-09-27T13:39:00.000-07:00

I am hesitant to pick the very last of our peaches.
It kind of feels as if I'm saying a long and sad goodbye, like when I used to have to tell Husband good-night back when we were just dating.

I'm drying a few of the ground peaches that I salvaged, and my swan song for the season will be a dozen jars of jam. (I hope!)

The tree was so beautiful this year and loaded with wonderful fruit. Maybe it was the extra cold winter?

We have had a good week. We were encouraged to visit the temple often, and I went about as much as I could. I helped out in Cheeseball and T-Bone's classrooms and I went out with Husband and his parents to make plans for the new office. Plus I processed peaches--jam, "butter," and just plain bottled. I did not, however, mop the floor yet (why bother when I'm just going to be spilling peaches all week?) and my house is a bigger mess than usual. But for the first time in a long while, I feel as if I haven't been wasting my time.

I took a break from politics and talk radio. I've listened to a lot of Dvorak, Debussey, and Berlioz. It's been great!

Now if I could just make smart use of the too many zucchinis we have...

2008-09-18T17:35:00.000-07:00

Soccer season is finally over. We attended Janey's last game yesterday. I heard one of her coaches talking about her to someone else. He said, "See that little one? She scored goals in the last four games in a row." I was feeling so proud (or should I say tickeled pink) that it literally seemed like my heart was swelling. She didn't score yesterday, but she tried really hard.

I have now canned 14 jars of peaches! I am hoping to do at least one more batch. This was my first time ever canning anything by myself. What a relief that the jars sealed!

I helped out in T-Bone's class today. He didn't look at me once, but that's okay. It was fun to get to meet some of his classmates.

We're having sloppy joes tonight. The secret ingredient is yesterday morning's cracked wheat (maybe 1 cup to 2+ pounds of ground beef so it's not doing much).

We are hoping that Husband has found the spot for his office. I'm trying not to get too excited in case it doesn't work out.

Oh, I finished Austenland. I enjoyed it quite a bit. She has the phrase "Jane Austen immersion therapy" somewhere in the book and I could have sworn that I was the first to use it. Guess I was wrong....

2008-09-04T07:56:00.000-07:00

The mornings are cold, it's wonderful.
School is going well so far. I am grateful that everyone is happy to be learning and it seems that all the teachers are going to be good.
Goose misses her siblings. We are learning how to play with Janey's old Loving Family dollhouse.
We're not sure when to harvest T-Bone's watermelons. How do you know when they're done? Guess I could google it.

I've read several books the past few weeks. The best, by far, was The Book Thief . I also thought Life as We Knew It and The Giver were very creditable and gave me a lot to think about. I checked out a compilation of Flannery O'Conner and Thomas Hardy's Jude the Obscure. I've glanced at those books, but I'm not sure I'm going to read them. It's always hard to slide back to literay novels when I've been dallying with Young Adult fiction. Flannery O'Connor's view of man somehow tires me. I'm sure she thinks she's authentic but I must like something more rosy. Maybe I should give Jude another try. I guess I don't embrace books were marriage is something to be escaped or be saved from.
Let's face it, I've never been open-minded. I couldn't even get through Gloria Steinem's lament that Palin is no Hillary. (Yeah Gloria, she got elected on her own merits and not because of her husband!) I have a hard time ingesting material that wants me to think differently than I do.

On a last agricultural note, I love Joy in the Garden for telling me a couple of weeks ago to plant spinach and peas. I took the seeds from my spring's crop of spinach and planted them and now I have a row of green and the promise of fresh spinach in a couple of weeks. I planted my old pack of peas which I neglected to plant in the spring and they're coming up too.

Okay, a final, final note: Next year, no petunias, just zinnias.

2008-08-26T17:02:00.000-07:00

Well, I read Breaking Dawn in a couple of days. I thought it was okay; I'm happy that Bella got married, that Jacob is finally happy and satisfied, and that good seemed to triumph over evil. Do I have complaints? Absolutely. From a critical point of view, I think the story would have been better if there had been some tragedy. Here Meyer paints hereself into a hard situation. If the book is for innocent teens who need a thrill then all the references to house breaking sex are questionable, right? If the novel is for mature women who like a thrilling fantasy, hey, we can handle a sacrifice. Kill off Esme or something! And yet I find myself defending Meyer. Most of the ideas that she presents about sex are false, I believe, but I think that it provides an opportunity to talk about intimacy and what is good and what is just plain disturbing. Most teen girls are very curious about sex and there's a lot of bad stuff out there. The book isn't graphic. So I guess I don't mind my 13-year-old reading it, so long as we talk about it.
Or am I just defending my lame parenting?
My very wise mom rarely interferred in my choice of literature, and I don't regret that.
There has been one book Beulah has checked out which I nixed so far, and I did that because of the detailed nature of the scenes.
So maybe I don't mind vague notions about sex as long as we don't start describing how one thing leads to another?
I'm rationalizing again, and I have to go make dinner.

The Worked and the Gory

2008-08-04T18:24:00.000-07:00

Okay, after just having purchased novel number four of Stephenie Meyer's vampire fantasy, I have to consider that there just might be a niche out there for pioneer vampire stories. I am not intending to be disrespectful, it's just a whimsical juxtaposition of genres which seem to captivate many in my demographic!

2008-07-24T08:01:00.000-07:00

Every once in a while I need to record some of the fun things that get said around my house.
Beulah, for instance, recently quiped, "I can easily spend two hours primping and not get bored." She didn't understand why that was funny. Speaking of her primping, she has this lip gloss from Bath and Body Works that is supposed to smell like a chocolate dipped strawberry. It is by far the nastiest artificial fragrance I have ever been around. Whenever she whips it out--in the car, at church, on the sofa or in the park--we can sense its stink immediately. She claims that if she gets another lip gloss for her upcoming birthday, she'll throw it away.
Goose is asking, "Where's John?" all the time. I don't know why. She and Husband talk about opening the door and closing the door, with the door being the mouth. Right now she's saying, "Gimme a bowl, please" to T-Bone.
Speaking of T-Bone, he has a grape-sized watermelon growing. He wants to unlock the Post Token at Pirates Online.
Cheeseball got sunburned the other day when he sat out in our neighbor's sandbox for several hours. She had filled the box with water and just let the hose keep running while the kids sat in the sandy mud. A good way to spend a few hours, provided you've applied sunscreen first!
Janey has taken to tying up the children and calling it "play." We had a conversation and that's not going to happen again. She is looking forward to painting her room.
Husband is taking his practical test for a license this Friday.
I am looking for exciting new ways to present zucchini. The good news with me lately is that I've finally made a spaghetti sauce that Husband and I both really like.