Feeling Antsy

Imagine this:
A man of unfathomable wealth has one driving ambition. The only thing he want to do in his life is wipe out ants. If he worked really hard, and he hired lackeys all over the world to work equally hard with him, do you think it's at all possible that he could really make a dent in the overall ant population? Let's imagine them flying to the jungles of South America and Africa, with untold packs of insecticide, cycling across the badlands of South Dakota and tossing ant traps to the left and right. They work in cities, farms, unincorporated areas and islands, too. Could the Anti-Ant Man and his helpers make a difference?

My answer: Not a chance.

I tried working in the yard today with the kids. And as I was ruthlessly trying to attack weeds I kept noticing that my ankles were being bitten by ants. They are all over the place. While I do admire the ant work ethic, I've been on bad terms with the insect ever since they invaded our home in California and we had to have Terminix come and spray over and over again. Goose has had a particular aversion to them ever since a few got on her feet and bit her a couple of summers ago--they are the one creature that she seems to be terrified of. I don't want to spray insecticide next to the food I'm trying to grow. Grrr.

We went to the library today without Husband. Not an easy task. We got a lot of books. I hope it'll be a fun summer full of reading. I finally have These Is My Words to read, I'm so excited. We also have a few books from Beulah's list to read: A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, The Alchemist (which I think I better read before she does just in case?), and Life of Pi (which sounds so dull I hope I don't have to read). I've just finished a couple of fun YA books (Hunger Games and the Wanderer and the crown jewel of the English language, Middlemarch. I'm so grateful for the library.

Thoughts from Book Club

I have a monthly book club that consists of ladies from around the neighborhood and in my ward. It's one of the only things I do to be social (I am, after all, a basic homebody) and it is always fun to attend. No matter what, we always end up talking about the struggles and joys of motherhood. Sometimes I get really involved in the conversations but other times I find myself floating away . . . I don't know much, but I do know that everyone is different. Last night most everyone was lamenting about the upcoming summer with the kids being home, but this one honest woman looked up and said that she cries all day when her kids go back to school. I am a mixed bag. I love having my kids home and around me. I like to be with them. But I hate when I lose my temper and when I yell and when they fight. I'm trying to come up with some vague, loose strategies for spending our time this summer. We'll see how they go. But back to book club. We're always trying to expiate our guilt--like if we tell everyone that we yell at our kids, it somehow becomes less of a problem. And then there's the comments we make as we try to make other people feel better about their own children, "Well, I like assertive kids like Suzy better because they tell you what you want and besides, kids need to be strong in today's world." It's a great comment if you're Suzy's mom. But if it's your kid who is lost in Suzy's shadow, it doesn't make you feel so good. And then we all get back to the mantra--"Just take your emotion out of discipline." Yeah, yeah, we all know that's true but this emotional beast has yet to learn to be tamed, despite years of trying. Ugh. It's much more fun when our book club talks about sex.

This Is Why I Have Kids

Sometimes the way Goose talks cracks me up. She can't say her "L"s, so today as I was buckling her in her carseat, she looked at me carefully and said, "Don't run over any wowwee powwees" (Ever since we had some heavy rain a few weeks ago and there were worms all over the driveway, she's been worried about little creatures getting smooshed when I back up. Rolly Polly bugs are her current favorite)

T-Bone had a good birthday, I think. He is such a wonderful boy. As he was opening a present (a lego halefire droid), Cheeseball said, "Hey, I want that." And T-B0ne looks at him and says, "It can be both of ours." Whenever we play Settlers of Catan, T-B0ne never wants to put the robber on anyone's resources--so Cheeseball, who is usually his partner and is much more ruthless in games--ends up calling those shots. If he ever gets candy, he always shares it with the whole family, giving us each a part. He just got a guinea pig and he knew it was a girl and he named it Sarah. For mother's day, he gave me a framed list of reasons why he loves me and when I read, "You weed the garden even when nobody helps you!" I had to burst into tears. Somtimes being a mom is so rewarding.

Still have stuff to work on...

My thoughts are muddled today. Janey's hand procedure went well a couple of days. I hated to have her go under sedation and I'm hoping that they can remove the pins from her pinky without having to put her out again. The doctor who performed the "surgery" spoke with me for about 10 seconds--enough to quip that maybe Janey should give up playing ball for cheerleading--and then he was off. I spoke with his PA, Chad, most of the time. He has a much better bedside manner.

I've been picking the heads of the dandilions in our lawn. This year it's an epidemic. We put down the weed and feed but I think we have so many weeds that the treatment won't be sufficient.

I'm feeling twinges of guilt because I keep looking for opportunities to serve and then letting them slip past me. For instance, someone needed a sitter for a baby and a three year old today for five hours and I did not volunteer. I reasoned that I'm already babysitting and that I do laundry on Friday and didn't want to have to babyproof my stairs, but the truth is, it didn't serve my convenience and I didn't want to do it. (Miss Perfect down the street is watching them, btw, and I don't say, "Miss Perfect" disparagingly; she's service-oriented, faithful, positive, and talented--all qualities I need to increase in myself). I really do admire those people who sacrfice their own comforts and desires in order to help others.

As a final note, I would advise all grocery stores to move coughing, sniffling workers away from the bagging areas in this time of heightened sensitivity to swine flu.... :)