Thoughts from Book Club

I have a monthly book club that consists of ladies from around the neighborhood and in my ward. It's one of the only things I do to be social (I am, after all, a basic homebody) and it is always fun to attend. No matter what, we always end up talking about the struggles and joys of motherhood. Sometimes I get really involved in the conversations but other times I find myself floating away . . . I don't know much, but I do know that everyone is different. Last night most everyone was lamenting about the upcoming summer with the kids being home, but this one honest woman looked up and said that she cries all day when her kids go back to school. I am a mixed bag. I love having my kids home and around me. I like to be with them. But I hate when I lose my temper and when I yell and when they fight. I'm trying to come up with some vague, loose strategies for spending our time this summer. We'll see how they go. But back to book club. We're always trying to expiate our guilt--like if we tell everyone that we yell at our kids, it somehow becomes less of a problem. And then there's the comments we make as we try to make other people feel better about their own children, "Well, I like assertive kids like Suzy better because they tell you what you want and besides, kids need to be strong in today's world." It's a great comment if you're Suzy's mom. But if it's your kid who is lost in Suzy's shadow, it doesn't make you feel so good. And then we all get back to the mantra--"Just take your emotion out of discipline." Yeah, yeah, we all know that's true but this emotional beast has yet to learn to be tamed, despite years of trying. Ugh. It's much more fun when our book club talks about sex.

This Is Why I Have Kids

Sometimes the way Goose talks cracks me up. She can't say her "L"s, so today as I was buckling her in her carseat, she looked at me carefully and said, "Don't run over any wowwee powwees" (Ever since we had some heavy rain a few weeks ago and there were worms all over the driveway, she's been worried about little creatures getting smooshed when I back up. Rolly Polly bugs are her current favorite)

T-Bone had a good birthday, I think. He is such a wonderful boy. As he was opening a present (a lego halefire droid), Cheeseball said, "Hey, I want that." And T-B0ne looks at him and says, "It can be both of ours." Whenever we play Settlers of Catan, T-B0ne never wants to put the robber on anyone's resources--so Cheeseball, who is usually his partner and is much more ruthless in games--ends up calling those shots. If he ever gets candy, he always shares it with the whole family, giving us each a part. He just got a guinea pig and he knew it was a girl and he named it Sarah. For mother's day, he gave me a framed list of reasons why he loves me and when I read, "You weed the garden even when nobody helps you!" I had to burst into tears. Somtimes being a mom is so rewarding.

Still have stuff to work on...

My thoughts are muddled today. Janey's hand procedure went well a couple of days. I hated to have her go under sedation and I'm hoping that they can remove the pins from her pinky without having to put her out again. The doctor who performed the "surgery" spoke with me for about 10 seconds--enough to quip that maybe Janey should give up playing ball for cheerleading--and then he was off. I spoke with his PA, Chad, most of the time. He has a much better bedside manner.

I've been picking the heads of the dandilions in our lawn. This year it's an epidemic. We put down the weed and feed but I think we have so many weeds that the treatment won't be sufficient.

I'm feeling twinges of guilt because I keep looking for opportunities to serve and then letting them slip past me. For instance, someone needed a sitter for a baby and a three year old today for five hours and I did not volunteer. I reasoned that I'm already babysitting and that I do laundry on Friday and didn't want to have to babyproof my stairs, but the truth is, it didn't serve my convenience and I didn't want to do it. (Miss Perfect down the street is watching them, btw, and I don't say, "Miss Perfect" disparagingly; she's service-oriented, faithful, positive, and talented--all qualities I need to increase in myself). I really do admire those people who sacrfice their own comforts and desires in order to help others.

As a final note, I would advise all grocery stores to move coughing, sniffling workers away from the bagging areas in this time of heightened sensitivity to swine flu.... :)

Ouch!

I've been trying to talk the kids into playing basketball on the little court in our backyard. They all need the exercise and let's face it, most need a lot more experience with handling a ball. So for Family Home Evening, I was pleased that T-Bone chose b-ball for the activity. Beulah refused to participate--she didn't want to be seen playing with her family (and that's probably an okay thing; there were a lot of people out and I'm not sure any of us looked terribly coordinated) but the rest of us were out there. We laughed when Goose carried the ball across the court ("Traveling" the kids all yelled) and then Husband picked her up and let her dunk the ball in the basklet. We cheered when someone scored. It was pretty fun. Until the ball hit Janey's hand the wrong way and her pinky was turned at a funny angle. I called my very kind doctor neighbor and she came out and said it looked dislocated. She tried to pop the joink back into place and Janey cried and cried. When it wouldn't go, my friend said that a tendon could be damaged and we should go to an emergency room. So we went to an urgent care, got an x-ray, and learned the pinky was broken. So now Janey has a splint on. Tomorrow she'll see a sports medicine doctor and maybe get it rewrapped or set. She has earned the distinction of being the first child in our family to break a bone. Way to go!

TV, Birthdays, and Why Do We Have Any Pets?

Okay, I'm still reeling from the revelation at the end of last week's 24 episode that Tony the Tiger is indeed an Agent of Evil. We all had our worries about him. . . . The funny thing is, all the TV shows Husband and I enjoy together have these morally amibiguous characters. Are they completely evil . . . or not? When we watched Alias there were always questions about Sloane. In Heroes, there's Angela and Nathan Petrelli and the cheerleader's dad, in Lost there's Ben and Sawyer, In Smallville there was Lionel Luther and now there's Tess Mercer. A strict analysis will usually show that all these charcters are bad guys (Sawyer?), but the writers of the shows like to throw in some twists just to make everyone more interesting and challenge some of the viewers' assumptions. It works for me.

Goose's birthday celebration was great. The kids loved blowing up balloons and decorating with streamers. Even though she's three years old now, her brothers and sisters still treat her as if she's the best thing that ever happened to us. T-Bone was so excited to show her her presents and Cheeseball picked out something special for her and Janey ended up getting her two gifts.

Goose loved everything and had a great day. She received a Jessie doll which is her new favorite thing (Toy Story 2 is her current movie of choice).

The gerbils escaped the night after we returned from AZ. Janey spent around five hours trying to catch them the following day and finally did, enduring a nasty, blood-drawing bite in the process. Beulah and I helped out a bit but in the end, Janey did it herself by closing off the gerbil's path of escape from behind the dryer. She must have been frustrated because when I asked what I should make for dinner, animal-loving Janey quipped, "Gerbil Pot Pie."

Why are we considering getting chicks?

Thoughts in the Night

As we were nearing the end of our big drive, in the wee, wee hours of the night, I was listening to my mp3 player to keep me awake at the wheel. We put my U2 Singles CD on it (the CD was a very surprising and thoughtful gift from Beulah for Christmas back in 2007) and it was fun to hear Bono whispering in my ear, keeping me calm and focused. And then while listening to "Pride," I heard the words, "One man betrayed with a kiss," and I was reminded of the whole reason for Easter and of the reality of Jesus Christ's life, betrayal, atonement, death and resurrection. I felt so grateful for His sacrifice for me and I know that I need to be a better follower.

Cow Poetry

I used to have this Far Side cartoon, called "Cow Poetry," taped to my mirror. I grew up with a father in whose heart cows held a hallowed place. (He was raised on a small scale dairy farm). I also wrote terrible poetry as a teenager (I have since told Beulah that every teenager has to go through a phase of writing maudlin poems) and can't help remberering how self-important I felt writing my little thoughts. This picture makes me laugh at myself.