Thoughts from Book Club

A couple of nights ago I went to book club. Somehow we got on the topic of dying and leaving our children behind. The biggest fear we all seemed to share is that no one would ever love our kids they way we do. It's an amazing thing, the love a mother has for a child. I'm finding it difficult to articulate what I mean, because so much of love is a feeling that extends beyond vocabulary. I am enjoying being with Goose so much lately, and when she smiles at me and tells me she loves me, I know we have a connection that is exclusive to ourselves. I have great kids and it's so good to be with them and talk and share and feel their love. Are things always perfect in our home? No way--we have struggles and we mess up daily. But I am so grateful for the good times and for the chance to try to nurture. I'm also grateful for April 2010 LDS General Conference--lots of good talks on raising children.

So I've been reading and re-reading the books for the Lonesome Dove series. The books offer a fascinating breadth of detail (sometimes quite bloody and violent) about life on the western frontier 150 years ago. I wonder what it says about me that I find it so interesting and engaging?
When I read, I like to escape and see places I've never been to and meet people that I've never known. I'm least fond of books about people like me-- scratch that, I'm least fond of books with dying, dead, or missing children. But reading about a white suburban housewife just doesn't have a lot of appeal for me. Maybe because then I would feel a need to compare myself with the character and then note all the ways I've come up short. Ugh. Pride is a terrible thing in how it makes us compete with others--even fictional characters. The way that it makes us rejoice to find others' faults or problems is the height of unchristlike-ness.

What I Like

Yeah! It's Christmastime and we had a pretty good weekend! On the downside, it doesn't look like we're putting up Christmas lights and I suspect we have mice in our garage :(. But beyond that, no complaints. In fact, there's a lot that I like and so here is a list:

• Goose is starting to ask me how to spells words. She barely can write letters and I'm not certain she can even identify them all but she is finally interested in the written word!



• I love my pandora radio soooooo much. I have two dozen stations now, I believe, but the one I play the very most is Joe Jackson. Such fun music! I can also have Christmas music whenever I want it, commerical-free!



• The Messiah Sing-Along was wonderful, as always. Next year I want to bring one of my kids along. (funny... they don't seem excited by the prospect but I love it so much I want to share it!)



• Along those lines, Husband got out his trumpet and started looking for the music so he can play "And the Trumpet Shall Sound."



• T-Bone has started wearing a Santa hat to school. So cute!



• Last evening the kids watched The Nightmare before Christmas and Husband and I sang along as we were reading our books.



• Goodies have started to trickle into our home.



• I can read The Christmas Miracle of Johnathan Toomey again and cry at the end. I have to read it about three times aloud before I can get through it without tears.



• Marzipan!

Beautiful

I will be the first to admit that I'm a sentimental marshmallow. A couple of weeks ago, I happened upon something wonderful on YouTube. I clicked on a link to a song that I thought was called "Beautiful Gordon" (being related to a very cute person of the same name). Anyway, turns out the song was called "Beautiful," and it was originally performed by Gordon Lightfoot, someone who was way before my time.

I fell in love with the song, and the fact that the singer was a fellow who looked like a happy, bearded Dick Cheney, just made it even better.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=IZVdw-Rh8gM

When I went back on YouTube to watch the video, I noticed something amazing--a number of video clips from men probably on the downside of 55 who are covering this song. I clicked on them over and over again and heard them singing and playing guitar, resplendent with music and sensitivity that I would never guess from their appearance. Of course, I'm the one with the prejudices and preconceptions, but I love it when I am surprised about people. There is so much more to everyone than meets the eye.

Odds and Ends

So I was looking through Cheeseball's coat pockets this morning, trying to find a paper lunch bag to use (he is the only one of my kids who faithfully brings back his lunch bag) when I find two mini-water guns zipped in a side compartment. I'm pretty sure his school has a zero-tolerance weapon policy; on Halloween, Luke Skywalker can't even bring a light sabre. A little concerned about budding criminality, I asked Cheeeseball about it at the breakfast table. It turns out that his friend had just returned the squirt guns after having them since he and Cheeseball went swimming last summer. At least the weapons exchange was under the radar of the school administration.

On another note, I took the girls to take pictures around Temple Square this weekend. We parked three blocks away (I know; I'm clueless about where I am half the time) and as we walked toward the temple, we passed some of the ubiquitous homeless, one whom was relieving himself in a corner about ten feet away from my four year old girl. Nice! Thankfully no one noticed except me.

Halloween, or a Symphony of Napoleons

Sisters

When Husband went to wake Janey this morning, he saw that Goose was cuddled up next to her in Janey's bed. Not a huge surprise, considering that Goose had a hard time falling asleep last night and was calling out to Husband and me every five minutes or so. Janey went into her room a little after nine and got into bed while her little sister was still awake. Not a good plan if you want ot be left alone! We are lucky that instead of throwing a fit about obnoxious little sisters, Janey simply let Goose in her bed and both got to have a good night sleep. For both the girls' sakes, this better not become a pattern. But sometimes it's nice to know you're not alone out there in the dark.