Time

I often find myself wasting time and that goes against my philosophical outlook. Rationally, I understand that there are only 24 hours in the day and that every moment you let escape is one you can never again have. Yet I use my time so poorly. Part of it is that I don't like a lot of structure. I like to to have wiggle room (on my own terms, of course, please don't subject me to your needs for wiggle room). I find that the more things I have to do in a day, the shorter my temper and the more tense I become. Maybe it's because I'm inherently selfish and just want to do what I want to do. . . . Yeah, that's probably it.

I keep thinking about learning more on the computer so I can make my blog cuter or get into Beulah's stuff and find out what she's doing, but again that requires time and discipline. And I find that when I'm trying to make things cute on the computer I really want to start from scratch and do it all my own way, which takes FOREVER of course. (I once spent I don't know how many hours trying to make a newsletter cute, and in the end it would have been so much nicer and quickly done if I just used an available templete.) I think I have a need to create that I simply have to channel into something that is practical and useful.

On another note, the funeral for my grandma was lovely. It was so good to see all the family, and I really enjoyed hearing everyone talk about what a great lady she was. I kept seeing the RS ladies darting back and forth with food, working and cleaning to make sure everything was nice. As we were eating, it occured to me that everything I put in my mouth was made by someone who donated their time and substance out of love, and I felt so grateful and resolved that from now on, when there are funerals happening I will be sure to bring something.