Jellied Rabbit Mold?

We had fantastic Christmas yesterday. Santa brought Goose the skeleton costume that she has been asking for. Beulah gave me an assortment of chocolate. T-Bone got that package of underwear that he was expecting and Janey finally has a good book light. Cheeseball unwrapped the cool spoon/fork combo that we saw when we watched a blacksmith working. Husband made a careful list of all the things I asked for and I got laminating sheets, a complete Messiah CD, an expandable pole for window washing and a battery for my Lolex. But the most awesome thing was a cookbook from our favorite consignment store. The recipes are different and fun and it's filled with pictures of the various steps. Though some recipes I gotta say I'm not going to be trying: Eel Pie, Eggs in Aspic, and Jellied Rabbit Mold...

Let's Be Polite and Call It Kitsch

So we put up the Christmas tree on Monday night. It's our 7 year-old, fiber optic Wal-Mart special and it's covered with homemade wonders and cheap plastic baubles, along with maybe 4 ornaments that cost over $1.00 a piece.
I kept feeling frustrated that I didn't have enough surface area to display the various Christmas decorations that I have, and then I came back from a meeting inspired to put all my Santa Claus stuff (from my Aunt Mary's tole-painted Santa face to our broken Santa in his sleigh with lights) on top of my cupboards. The icing on the cake, though, is the white pillow-filling fluff that we tore up and mounded to look like snow up on the cabinets. The complete look is cheesy and silly, and yes, even tacky, but at least it's different from the same ole, same ole. Janey was happy to help me do it. I have accepted that I will not have an elegant or charming holiday home, but I'm absolutely okay with that.
I love Christmastime!

The Rose

Tonight we went to Beulah's "Young Women in Excellence." I've been to many of these functions in my life, but tonight was by far the best. Each of the fathers of the young women were asked to bring a flower that he felt represented his daughter, and then bring his daughter up and explain why the flower reminded him of her. It was so wonderful to hear so many loving things said about all these different girls. I felt like I was on the verge of tears all night. Husband brought Beulah up along with a pale pink rose and said that it was pretty and became even more beautiful when you look at its details.
It's a shame that so often in life I focus on the negative when there is so much to celebrate. Take Beulah for instance. She is such a lovely young lady--so smart and so curious and eager to do her best. She is full of passion and wonder and she can be so tender and caring. It makes us laugh when she mispronounces words like "lyric" and "hysterics" because her first exposure to them was in a book. She underestimates herself so much and I just wish I could rip all that insecurity away because she is a fabulous girl with a lot to contribute to the world.

The other night I woke up suddenly from a fairly intense dream. Everything was very dark and still and then I began to hear whispering. I leaned closer to Husband to see if it was just him breathing, but he was making no noise at all. I tried to go back to sleep but as I laid down, there it was again. So I got up to check the house and make sure no radio was on. I opened the kids' doors slowly, one by one, and everyone was asleep. I went downstairs and checked all the rooms. The house had never been so quiet. Or so dark. I felt completely spooked and I tiptoed through the dark to get back to bed. I closed my eyes and there was the whispering again. I thought to myself that I'm not ready to be going crazy.
And then it hit me. Of course. Husband's audiobook was playing on his mp3 player. By this time I was so annoyed, I turned on the light (barely apologizing to a startled Husband), found the player, and turned it off. As I went back to bed, I felt reassured that I hadn't been losing my mind and hearing voices. But then I wondered why it had taken me so long to figure out it was the player. Maybe I'm losing my mind after all!

Don't Do It

This was red ribbon week for at the kids' elementary school. As part of his homework, T-Bone and I had to listen to a CD of 6 or 7 songs with anti-drug/peer pressure messages on it and fill out a response sheet. I am very picky about my musical entertainment and this process was particularly tortuous for me. But we made it and by the time it was done, T-Bone had already filled out the sheet. "Hey, I thought I was supposed to fill this out," I said. He just looked at me in his unreadable way. I continued, "I see that you gave the songs a 7 out of 10." He smiled and said, "Yeah, and you gave them an 8 out of 10." I was going to change the score just to save my honor, but then I let him make the call and left it. Maybe he did like the music. I saw that he had marked that we had never discussed drug or alcohol abuse before this time. "What?" I said, "What about our lessons in FHE about the Word of Wisdom?" I did change his mark this time to indicate that we talk about it at least 2 or 3 times a year. So maybe this is something I can improve on. I know drugs are everywhere and that it's naive and foolish to think your kids won't ever be exposed to them. And I can't assume that just because my kids are good and smart, they'll always know the right thing to do and do it.

But honestly, if the school wants to hand out anti-drug music, let's go with Grandmaster Flash:

"Little Jack Horner,

Sat in a corner,

with no shoes and clothes.
This ain't funny,

But he took his money,

and he sniffed it up his nose."

This One Goes out to the One I Love

Happy Birthday, handsome.
Of course, Husband doesn't read this blog, so it's going out to deaf ears, as it were. . . .
Hey, if Husband doesn't read the blog, I'll go ahead with my story:
My sister, Fancy, and I had been traveling around Europe, riding the trains with our Europass by day and often staying at youth hostels at night (except for when we were on the sleeper train and had to sleep with stinky feet in our face and a smoker and an obnoxious Finish blonde who spoke four languages). We'd been in and through London, Paris, Lucerne, Florence, and Venice, and we were now heading for Austria and Germany. We had been in several different grades of sleeping establishments--some clean and efficient, others, well, you can imagine. In the hostels I learned that Europeans had a much looser view of modesty; Fancy and I were always covered up but some of the woman who slept in our rooms did it au natural. Anyway, Fancy wanted to go to Salzburg because that was Mozart's birthplace and the hometown of the Von Trapp family (I think) and of course she was cultured (she had had a humanities class, you know). The hostel itself impressed me as very clean and nice; it had more than one floor and I think Fancy and I might have had the room to ourselves. The bathrooms were in the hall, though. (You can't have it all, I guess, for a few dollars a night.) Anyway, it was in the evening and I went to take a shower. So I go in and there are all these showers lined against the wall, with only partitions between them and no curtains or doors to hide behind. These Europeans were so advanced and modern! Good thing the floors were segregated by sex. So I hop into the closest shower I could find and quickly get down to business. A minute into my shower, I look up and there's a man walking past me. He had his hand hiding his face and was looking away, and went down to the furthest shower. I almost blacked out because I was so scared at the possibility of me being exposed in a men's shower that I grabbed my towel and hauled out of bathroom, running down the hall and into my room. I screamed at Fancy that those were the men's showers and that she had to go get my clothes because I could never, ever, ever go back in there again. At first she hesitated, but I was hysterical and finally she left, returning with my clothes and saying the shower was full of men (I never asked her what she saw, actually). So I guess the floors weren't segregated by sex and I was too dumb to figure out the sign by the bathroom entrance meant Men in German.

I am grateful for the gentlemanly behavior of the first guy who came in. There were a lot of creeps that traveled and I think I was both lucky and blessed.

And Husband, if you ever do read this, I love you the most.

The Story of Why I Buckled on Facebook

I woke up Monday morning and did my morning routine. After finishing lunches for the kids, and before Husband called me to the table for some yummy cracked wheat (cooked with raisins so Cheeseball would eat it), I sat down at the computer and did a quick check of my e-mail. My mom had sent me a message saying that she had just attended the baptism of these two children. Their mother was my best friend for a few years in high school and I had completely lost contact with her. She had mentioned to my mom that she had just signed up on facebook. And all of a sudden I became emotional because I've lost contact with so many good people and then I realized that if I joined facebook, maybe I could reestablish communication with some of them. So that's it. Sorry that it's a lame story. Maybe the next time I'll tell y'all about my night in Salzburg (Or was it Mannheim?).

Only Seeing Red Occasionally

I dreamnt last night that I was driving through the canyons looking at all the trees changing color. In particular I kept seeing fiery red maple trees. I don't know if I'll actually get out to see the trees before all the leaves are gone.

I want to take some family pictures out in the fall colors but no one is very excited about it. I wonder if the magic of my whining about it will make it happen?. . .

I feel like I am a very blessed woman. Just having healthy and happy (most of the time) kids is the greatest gift in the world. The boys were doing more creating with legos and spare bionicle parts this weekend. So fun! Now if I could only get all the pieces off the floor.

Goose is having a lot of fun dressing up--tiger costume, leopard costume, twirly dresses. It's fun, unless the costume she wants to wear is MIA.

Beulah is continuing to learn and face new challenges. I am very happy with her effort in piano lately, and my biggest complaint is that she keeps not bringing the lunches I make. (Yes, it probably is a not-so-subtle message that PB&J is no longer acceptable).

Janey is happy and working hard. She needs to find something else to occupy her time with. I wanted to put her in theatre again but we had a hard time deciding which venue.

Husband is my hero for installing a new garbage disposal for us. He also gave a wonderful talk in church yesterday filled with interesting stories. When I try to examine my life for stories, I realize I'm pretty lacking. The ones that come to my mind are either embarrassing or inappropriate for public consumption. Maybe I'll try one out here next time. :)

Being Chilly

I love that it is finally getting cold! We haven't turned our heat on yet--I kinda want to see how long we can go without it. A few weeks ago, I heard a woman on the radio claim that she kept her house really cold--between 61 and 64 degrees--for health reasons. She said that sick germs didn't like to live in that cold environment and commented that she hadn't been sick in years. Then she said that her grown children all kept their houses quite warm and that they were sick all the time. I suspect her kids and grandkids probably got sick because they were involved with school and other germ-sharing enterprises but who knows? Our house hasn't got that cold yet! I'll spray off our filter and then probably turn the heat on when the next storm starts to brew.

I'm in the need of a good book to read.

A Good Teacher is Hard to Find!

Last week I got to meet with some of Beulah's teachers. We talked about how things were going in class and what some of the expectations were. After looking at some of Beulah's work and assignments, I remembered back 22 years to when I was in 9th grade, and I met my favorite teacher of them all, Mr. Harry Steinmetz (pictured to the left). He taught my World History and Geography class and he was my first teacher who seemed to be really demanding, and yet he was so interesting. He assigned us challenging assignments and projects. (I had to write a paper on a Great Topic using the Great Classics, i.e., guys who have been dead for over 300 years. I choose, "The Consequences of Sin: The Loss of Charity and Grace") His tests were unforgivably hard. He treated us with respect, though; he knew we were able to learn and he coddled no one. He also was the speech coach, and while I always underperformed, I enjoyed being on the speech team with him for a couple of years. It's amazing how some teachers are such jewels--so capable of making complicated information accessible and so full of energy to inspire greatness. I don't think Beulah has such a teacher this year, unfortunately, but I understand how rare they are. I had maybe five or six really excellent teachers out of my time in high school.

Thank Hevean for Little Girls

So far so good with my new childcare gig. Goose gets to have two little girls over to play during the day and they get along pretty well--most of the time. They were all feeling musical during lunch time today, and the blond girl sang "I Have a Little Turtle" and the black-haired girl sang, "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star." Goose was so excited she couldn't wrap her tongue around any song she already knew so she started singing about her nose. They all have a dancing and tumbling class this afternoon (in our family we call it "Pretty Girl Dancing School").

Oh, and here are three songs I hear on the radio that make me feel like a teenager again!

Magnificent, by U2

No You Girls, by Franz Ferdinand

Farewell to the Fairground, by White Lies

Conservatives Who Embarrass Me

After hearing about concerned parents who refuse to let their children view President Obama's upcoming address to school-children I have to throw in my two cents.
First of all, I guess it really is up to parents to teach and protect their kids but COME ON! He is the legitimately elected president of the country and while I don't agree with his agenda or priorities I realize that he knows his way around a microphone and can be incredibly inspirational. I appreciate all the comments he has made in the past about working hard in school and turning off the TV. I believe he is politically astute enough to talk to the nation's children and not throw in controversial salvos--he wouldn't want to give his political opponents ammunition. This whole deal is probably a chance for him to reintroduce himself as the positive, can-do guy who got elected. I do think that he is very egocentric (I am skeptical about his motives here) and he is definitely not my favorite president, but let's let him shine where he shines.
If he does try to indoctrinate my children, I will be there to talk to my kids and tell them why and how I disagree.
What bothers me is the knee-jerk reaction some conservatives have; it makes us all look dumb and is identical to the way certain liberals hated everything about George Bush. I don't want to be that way.

A few pictures from our trip

I Can't Believe It's Gone :(

I am not happy about school starting tomorrow. As I think about each of my kids I wonder if I spent enough time this summer giving them my love and support and attention. Did I nag them too much? Yell at them too much? Ignore opportunities to talk with them? And now they're going to be gone all day (except for Goose, of course) and by the time I have next summer with them, they'll all be a year older and that much closer to being gone.

Some good things happened this summer. We did go on bike rides together and sometimes we worked in the yard together and one day we colored pictures together. But so much time was wasted on my part.

Our trip to San Diego was good. At the time, there were occasions when I thought we had way too much time all together, but all in all, it couldn't have been better. The ocean was beautiful and fun and T-Bone, Janey, Husband and I all got to snorkel around the cove and see fish swimming around. The zoo was interesting and Goose actually walked almost the whole time. She came face to face with an orangutan and said "Hello." Cheeseball couldn't believe how big the anaconda in the reptile house was. Janey liked taking pictures of the panda in the tree. Legoland was also great. Even Beulah couldn't resist the charm of the millions of legos that made up Miniland, with it's replicas of New York City and Las Vegas. Cheeseball had the time of his life, and T-Bone had a fun time being big enough to do everything he wanted to do, including selecting a level 5 intensity for the ride that picks you up and shakes you.

Yep, the summer definitely went too fast.

From the Fourth

It took me forever to get the pictures from Janey's camera, but we finally did. We had a fun 4th of July and enjoyed the parade. We were in shade and cloud cover for the most part. This vet in the jeep rides in the parade every year. He is a Pearl Harbor survivor. Ever since I saw Saving Private Ryan I have had a huge appreciation for these brave men who have fought to keep our country free and safe. Goose's favorite part of the parade was seeing Darth Vader.

Remember, it's only wind

So said a man as he passed me and Husband as were riding up to the canyon. The road has a slight incline and the wind is really strong, so it provides a lot of drag, making my slowness extra slow. Of course, I knew the wind was a factor and I wasn't about to give up, so after the man was ahead of us, I made a snarky comment to Husband that the guy was probably one of those obnoxious motivational dudes who has statements like, "Remember, it's only wind,' stenciled on his wall.

I am frustrated that I am such a slow biker. Everyone passes me, always. I don't care too much because I'm not competitive with things that I'm not good at, but I would like to be just a little faster somehow.


Speaking of faster, yesterday was my first time going downhill on a bike and not being scared. We had ridden to our target destination (we arrived there a couple of minutes after I excoriated Husband for having deceived me about how far away the place really was--I am really not very nice when I've struggling with something and I was struggling, struggling up this hill). And then we turned around and somehow the downhill going was different than it's been before. It felt good and I sensed I was in control, and I smiled at and "Good Morning"ed the bikers going the opposite direction (after one particularly big smile, I gloriously swallowed a tiny bug, yikes).


Janey and Cheeseball are home from church sick. Janey has been dizzy with a headache for a couple of days and Cheeseball was dizzy and throwing up a little this morning, but seems to feel better now. We have been really blessed with good health this year and have hardly missed anything due to illness.

Love to Anna

A couple of days ago, we got the call that Husband's grandmother passed away at age 95. It was not unexpected but it's sad that I'll never get to see her throw her hands up in the air and laugh again.

I met her 15 years ago, right at the time Husband and I were engaged. We spent an afternoon talking while Husband and his dad were involved with something at the DMV, and she told me about how she was born very premature, and how her parents kept her in a match box in the oven and fed her gruel to keep her alive. She also recalled that Husband's dad was born with a tooth and said that when she was pregnant she felt so great she wanted to be up chopping wood. She had great stories about the interesting people that comprised Husband's family. She wasn't one to mince words, and when she paid a compliment, you knew it was absolutely sincere. (A few years ago--probably before their cousin Dave had kids--she told someone that Husband and his twin brother were the best fathers in the world, which of course I have to agree with). She was a very strong woman, and she raised her children to be hard working, good, and happy. She was a remarkable, fabulous woman, and I thought enough of her to give her name to one of daughters.

Her last years were diminished, just as with many in my family. Everytime I saw her (maybe once or twice a year) she seemed a little bit less of her self. She would sit around quiet, almost like she wasn't there. I hate what old age does to people, how it robs them of themselves. But I believe she is now in full command of her mind and chatting it up with many of her loved ones who went before her.

Say Hi to Twila--I'm sure the two of you would like to talk about how great Husband is:)

So I survived cub day camp. It was mostly fun--the only downer was when all the boys had to sit down in the mid-day heat, after hours of fun activity, and listen to a teenage boy drone on about "Leave No Trace," the Scouts' new environmental initiative.

In the later afternoon, as I was serving my family by taking a nap (who wants to be around me when I'm cranky and tired?) Janey noticed that Goose was singing, "Bye-bye pretty hair." She looked up and Goose had cut her bangs and the side of her hair short, short, short.

We're missing Beulah, she's off at YW camp but should be home this afternoon.

I took Goose in this morning for a hair cut. Her bangs are so short they almost don't exist and the stylist at Fantastic Sam's suggested an A-line cut to try to blend the sides. I just keep remembering that hair grows really fast.

Orange You Glad She Didn't Choose White?

Not really! Janey managed to convince me to paint her room yesterday, and she choose a color called Orange Juice. It is the exact color of it's name and the frustrating thing is that even after two coats, the laveneder color that had been all the wall previously still peeks out. Yikes! I'm also annoyed that whenever I paint, it looks like a 10 year-old did it all.

Buelah survived Trek. Her face is almost healed from her horrible sunburn. I was happy that her only complaints were the sunburn and mosquito bites (both were signficant!)

I am healing nicely from my fall last week. All in all, the biking is going pretty well. I still dread going up big hills (not because I'm worried of falling, but because I am lazy!) and we've avoided them the past couple of times.

Our weeds have come back with a vengeance but I have one tiny little tomato growing on a plant, so I am thrilled.

The summer is going pretty well. Janey is the only kid who has been busy. T-Bone and I have a date to go to Cub Day Camp next week and I've been having nightmares about it. Seriously.

Going Downhill . . .

. . . is not always a bad thing. Husband and I have been trying to ride our bikes every few days. I am very discouraged about how little body strength I have as I try to pedal uphill. We made it to the parking lot by Timponoagos cave last week but I had to stop three times to catch my breath and rest. I don't especially like when we go down the steep hills, especially when my bike feels even the slightest bit wobbly and there are lots of curves, but when we're close to the bottom and we're safe I can finally relax and enjoy the speed and the jolt of energy from all the endorphins that come from the earlier exertion.

I was very annoyed to learn that Beulah was able to ride as far as I can (she goes with her dad when I don't because we're sharing my bike). I'll just have to work harder.

I have enjoyed the moisture and cool temperatures lately but I'm afraid my basil is gone, gone, gone. I had just planted it figuring that now we're in June, it'll be warm enough, but I was wrong. It's barely standing in my garden, all limp and shrivelly.

Feeling Antsy

Imagine this:
A man of unfathomable wealth has one driving ambition. The only thing he want to do in his life is wipe out ants. If he worked really hard, and he hired lackeys all over the world to work equally hard with him, do you think it's at all possible that he could really make a dent in the overall ant population? Let's imagine them flying to the jungles of South America and Africa, with untold packs of insecticide, cycling across the badlands of South Dakota and tossing ant traps to the left and right. They work in cities, farms, unincorporated areas and islands, too. Could the Anti-Ant Man and his helpers make a difference?

My answer: Not a chance.

I tried working in the yard today with the kids. And as I was ruthlessly trying to attack weeds I kept noticing that my ankles were being bitten by ants. They are all over the place. While I do admire the ant work ethic, I've been on bad terms with the insect ever since they invaded our home in California and we had to have Terminix come and spray over and over again. Goose has had a particular aversion to them ever since a few got on her feet and bit her a couple of summers ago--they are the one creature that she seems to be terrified of. I don't want to spray insecticide next to the food I'm trying to grow. Grrr.

We went to the library today without Husband. Not an easy task. We got a lot of books. I hope it'll be a fun summer full of reading. I finally have These Is My Words to read, I'm so excited. We also have a few books from Beulah's list to read: A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, The Alchemist (which I think I better read before she does just in case?), and Life of Pi (which sounds so dull I hope I don't have to read). I've just finished a couple of fun YA books (Hunger Games and the Wanderer and the crown jewel of the English language, Middlemarch. I'm so grateful for the library.

Thoughts from Book Club

I have a monthly book club that consists of ladies from around the neighborhood and in my ward. It's one of the only things I do to be social (I am, after all, a basic homebody) and it is always fun to attend. No matter what, we always end up talking about the struggles and joys of motherhood. Sometimes I get really involved in the conversations but other times I find myself floating away . . . I don't know much, but I do know that everyone is different. Last night most everyone was lamenting about the upcoming summer with the kids being home, but this one honest woman looked up and said that she cries all day when her kids go back to school. I am a mixed bag. I love having my kids home and around me. I like to be with them. But I hate when I lose my temper and when I yell and when they fight. I'm trying to come up with some vague, loose strategies for spending our time this summer. We'll see how they go. But back to book club. We're always trying to expiate our guilt--like if we tell everyone that we yell at our kids, it somehow becomes less of a problem. And then there's the comments we make as we try to make other people feel better about their own children, "Well, I like assertive kids like Suzy better because they tell you what you want and besides, kids need to be strong in today's world." It's a great comment if you're Suzy's mom. But if it's your kid who is lost in Suzy's shadow, it doesn't make you feel so good. And then we all get back to the mantra--"Just take your emotion out of discipline." Yeah, yeah, we all know that's true but this emotional beast has yet to learn to be tamed, despite years of trying. Ugh. It's much more fun when our book club talks about sex.

This Is Why I Have Kids

Sometimes the way Goose talks cracks me up. She can't say her "L"s, so today as I was buckling her in her carseat, she looked at me carefully and said, "Don't run over any wowwee powwees" (Ever since we had some heavy rain a few weeks ago and there were worms all over the driveway, she's been worried about little creatures getting smooshed when I back up. Rolly Polly bugs are her current favorite)

T-Bone had a good birthday, I think. He is such a wonderful boy. As he was opening a present (a lego halefire droid), Cheeseball said, "Hey, I want that." And T-B0ne looks at him and says, "It can be both of ours." Whenever we play Settlers of Catan, T-B0ne never wants to put the robber on anyone's resources--so Cheeseball, who is usually his partner and is much more ruthless in games--ends up calling those shots. If he ever gets candy, he always shares it with the whole family, giving us each a part. He just got a guinea pig and he knew it was a girl and he named it Sarah. For mother's day, he gave me a framed list of reasons why he loves me and when I read, "You weed the garden even when nobody helps you!" I had to burst into tears. Somtimes being a mom is so rewarding.

Still have stuff to work on...

My thoughts are muddled today. Janey's hand procedure went well a couple of days. I hated to have her go under sedation and I'm hoping that they can remove the pins from her pinky without having to put her out again. The doctor who performed the "surgery" spoke with me for about 10 seconds--enough to quip that maybe Janey should give up playing ball for cheerleading--and then he was off. I spoke with his PA, Chad, most of the time. He has a much better bedside manner.

I've been picking the heads of the dandilions in our lawn. This year it's an epidemic. We put down the weed and feed but I think we have so many weeds that the treatment won't be sufficient.

I'm feeling twinges of guilt because I keep looking for opportunities to serve and then letting them slip past me. For instance, someone needed a sitter for a baby and a three year old today for five hours and I did not volunteer. I reasoned that I'm already babysitting and that I do laundry on Friday and didn't want to have to babyproof my stairs, but the truth is, it didn't serve my convenience and I didn't want to do it. (Miss Perfect down the street is watching them, btw, and I don't say, "Miss Perfect" disparagingly; she's service-oriented, faithful, positive, and talented--all qualities I need to increase in myself). I really do admire those people who sacrfice their own comforts and desires in order to help others.

As a final note, I would advise all grocery stores to move coughing, sniffling workers away from the bagging areas in this time of heightened sensitivity to swine flu.... :)

Ouch!

I've been trying to talk the kids into playing basketball on the little court in our backyard. They all need the exercise and let's face it, most need a lot more experience with handling a ball. So for Family Home Evening, I was pleased that T-Bone chose b-ball for the activity. Beulah refused to participate--she didn't want to be seen playing with her family (and that's probably an okay thing; there were a lot of people out and I'm not sure any of us looked terribly coordinated) but the rest of us were out there. We laughed when Goose carried the ball across the court ("Traveling" the kids all yelled) and then Husband picked her up and let her dunk the ball in the basklet. We cheered when someone scored. It was pretty fun. Until the ball hit Janey's hand the wrong way and her pinky was turned at a funny angle. I called my very kind doctor neighbor and she came out and said it looked dislocated. She tried to pop the joink back into place and Janey cried and cried. When it wouldn't go, my friend said that a tendon could be damaged and we should go to an emergency room. So we went to an urgent care, got an x-ray, and learned the pinky was broken. So now Janey has a splint on. Tomorrow she'll see a sports medicine doctor and maybe get it rewrapped or set. She has earned the distinction of being the first child in our family to break a bone. Way to go!

TV, Birthdays, and Why Do We Have Any Pets?

Okay, I'm still reeling from the revelation at the end of last week's 24 episode that Tony the Tiger is indeed an Agent of Evil. We all had our worries about him. . . . The funny thing is, all the TV shows Husband and I enjoy together have these morally amibiguous characters. Are they completely evil . . . or not? When we watched Alias there were always questions about Sloane. In Heroes, there's Angela and Nathan Petrelli and the cheerleader's dad, in Lost there's Ben and Sawyer, In Smallville there was Lionel Luther and now there's Tess Mercer. A strict analysis will usually show that all these charcters are bad guys (Sawyer?), but the writers of the shows like to throw in some twists just to make everyone more interesting and challenge some of the viewers' assumptions. It works for me.

Goose's birthday celebration was great. The kids loved blowing up balloons and decorating with streamers. Even though she's three years old now, her brothers and sisters still treat her as if she's the best thing that ever happened to us. T-Bone was so excited to show her her presents and Cheeseball picked out something special for her and Janey ended up getting her two gifts.

Goose loved everything and had a great day. She received a Jessie doll which is her new favorite thing (Toy Story 2 is her current movie of choice).

The gerbils escaped the night after we returned from AZ. Janey spent around five hours trying to catch them the following day and finally did, enduring a nasty, blood-drawing bite in the process. Beulah and I helped out a bit but in the end, Janey did it herself by closing off the gerbil's path of escape from behind the dryer. She must have been frustrated because when I asked what I should make for dinner, animal-loving Janey quipped, "Gerbil Pot Pie."

Why are we considering getting chicks?

Thoughts in the Night

As we were nearing the end of our big drive, in the wee, wee hours of the night, I was listening to my mp3 player to keep me awake at the wheel. We put my U2 Singles CD on it (the CD was a very surprising and thoughtful gift from Beulah for Christmas back in 2007) and it was fun to hear Bono whispering in my ear, keeping me calm and focused. And then while listening to "Pride," I heard the words, "One man betrayed with a kiss," and I was reminded of the whole reason for Easter and of the reality of Jesus Christ's life, betrayal, atonement, death and resurrection. I felt so grateful for His sacrifice for me and I know that I need to be a better follower.

Cow Poetry

I used to have this Far Side cartoon, called "Cow Poetry," taped to my mirror. I grew up with a father in whose heart cows held a hallowed place. (He was raised on a small scale dairy farm). I also wrote terrible poetry as a teenager (I have since told Beulah that every teenager has to go through a phase of writing maudlin poems) and can't help remberering how self-important I felt writing my little thoughts. This picture makes me laugh at myself.

Six Things that Make Me Cry

6. Singing the national anthem

5. Tragedy

4. Cheesy moments in movies--I am so embarrassed by this.

3. Realizing how far away I am from who I should be

2. Witnessing the performance of beauty

1. Having Beulah and Janey fight. When they were little they loved each other and played so well but for the past five years it's just gone downhill. I hope it will be better someday.

Maybe I've just have a rough weekend. . . .

Now that's Exciting!

Here are a few things that thrill me:
Getting the chance to eat something new and different that someone has made
Harvesting food from seeds I have planted
Playing in waves at the beach
Beating Husband when playing games
Taking a successful, uninterrupted nap
Reading a good book
Watching my children play cooperatively
Helping kids at school learn
Finding good deals at DI

Have We Taken this Princess Thing Too Far?

The other day at dinner Goose had spilled some drink on her shirt. She does not like to to be wet and she started screaming, as usual. And then I listened to her. She yelled, "Take off my shirt, I command you!" We all turned and looked at her and then kids all burst out laughing.

T-Bone is slowly adding to his Lego Castle collection. I like to see him absorbed in fantasy play. Having our tv (and hence PlayStation) out of commission for a few weeks after Christmas was the best thing ever because it forced him and Cheeseball to play with their toys.

Beulah babysat her cute little cousin at our house the other night. She spent most of the time with him and Goose downstairs in the toy room. Who knows what they were doing but it must have been fun because he was sad to leave.

Janey has handled loosing Boon pretty well. I think it still pains her that I talk of it with such ease.

Cheeseball was in our room at the crack of dawn and said, "It it St. Patrick's day." "No," I mumbled, "that's in two days." "Well," he said, "today's the last day I can make the leprechaun trap for school." "Okay, we'll do it later." I said and then rolled over back to sleep. I guess it's time to get cracking.

The Deed is Done :(

Today I brought Boon to our animal shelter. I had posted an ad for him on the online classifieds, but once I decided he had to go, I had to do it as soon as possible so the kids couldn't talk me out of it. Last Saturday he had gotten off his line--again--and was in someone's yard jumping up at her kids and freaking out their dogs and just wouldn't go away. She tried calling me once she learned it was my dog, but I was away. I didn't find out about the specifics until today. Anyway, it's just happened one too many times and I can't have it on my conscience that my dog is over in someone else's yard driving them crazy and causing them to be unhappy. And unfortunately, Boon can occasionally manage to get off his line, not to mention the times when Goose inadvertantly lets him out of the house. The three middle kids have taken it badly--Janey and T-Bone came with me to the animal shelter to say good-bye and it was hard to hear them crying. It's probably the hardest to have my sweet and tender most middle child be sad. The dumb dog just needs a good fence, and we don't have one. While I was at the shelter, someone called from the add (of course). She called back later and I told her that he was at the shelter and she sounded interested enough that she will probably go down and at least check him out.
I felt so cold about the whole process; I wasn't even sad as I signed the papers and shut him up in the kennel, I just knew it had to be done. It makes me a little sad now; he is a sweet, cute dog. But we just didn't have what he needed. On that cold November night when we got him 16 months ago, I had a little voice say to me that this would be a mistake. But we had gone too far and I didn't want to disappoint the kids. So know instead of disappointing them, I've devastated them. I don't think any of them were truly attached to him the way some people love their dogs, but they liked him enough that the feel the lack of him.
I hate being a mean mom.

Nothing New Under the Sun

Here is my problem with Obama: Everything he is doing (wanting to get more involved in health care, raising taxes on the rich, giving goodies to unions, bowing to environmental lobbyists, etc) is old, old news and straight out of the Democrat playbook of the past century. I realize that everything I want (less taxes, less federal government interference with health care and education and land rights) is straight out of a conservative playbook too. But the thing is, Obama's rhetoric was so fabulous that somehow everyone thought he would be different and do something new. But it's the same annoying policies wrapped up with dashing eloquence and I'm so annoyed that I emailed my congressman and told him I didn't want taxes increased and charitable contributions made less deductible.
As I look back over the past year, there was only one politician who really seemed to say something different and bold to me and it was Ron Paul. Why didn't I support him? Maybe I'm like most Americans in that I'm scared of bold change and instead prefer to whine.

PS I don't have complaints about Michelle but I am weary of her coverage. Do you think the newspapers would rave over Cindy McCain's bare arms or just accuse her of being tacky and self-promoting?

The Older I Get the Less I Know

I have had a revelation! This might not seem like a lot but I am very often a social idiot, so I'm glad I've had my eyes open at least. Anyway, here goes: Manners, or ettiquite, protect us from the unpleasant consequences of faulty assumptions. Or, as my "interpersonal communications" teacher taught in high school, "When you "ass u me" you make am "ass" out of "u" and "me." Recently I had a neighbor (neighbor A) talk to me and as we spoke it became apparent that another neighbor's (neighbor B) actions or lack thereof were driving her crazy.
It's hard to condense everything into a brief version but basically the Neighbor B had assumed that Neighbor A didn't care at all if B's kids were all over the play equipment or if B's husband took it upon himself to "fix" the broken equipment so that his kids could play on it safely. After all, she assumed because no one ever said anything no one cared and because the slide hadn't been fixed right away it wasn't going to be fixed unless she did it. Or maybe I'm just assuming what B was thinking. The point is, if everyone had good manners, permission would have been asked before the equipment was played on or fixed. There were a few other issues of irritation we discussed but ultimately they all came down to assuming a person felt a certain way or had a particular motiviation which might not have even been the case. But if people had just behaved in a mannerly way--asking permission, respecting privacy, inviting others and not asking "nervy" questions, then many assumptions which are probably wrong would have never been made. So maybe I need to check out a Miss Manner's book so I can brush up on my behavior.

Speakers

A couple of months ago, I was in a service station restroom with Goose, when all of a sudden, we heard a loud voice boom into the room. Goose looked all around and wanted to know who was talking. I told her the sound came from the speaker. "Speaker," she said. Well, a few weeks later, a similar thing occurred in a Costco restroom. "Speaker." Well, it has recently come to Goose's attention that there are speakers everywhere, and I know she wants me to tell her how they work. The more I try to explain, the more I realize that I haven't the foggiest notion of how speakers do what they do. But she is so excited about them--"They make me happy" she said smilingly to me and Beulah as she was looking at the speakers dotting the ceiling of our chapel. And happy is a good thing to be.

Tales of a Goose and Which Mr. Rochester?

Goose was just standing in front of a mirror, holding up one of Beulah's necklaces, and swinging it back and forth. She was singing to herself, "Necklace, necklace, necklace, breaking necklace, breaking necklace, necklace is all gone, necklace is all gone." At that point, I retrieved the necklace and saw that in fact it was not broken (but not for lack of trying!).

She is noticing that everyone has come home today with candy. No one's stash is safe, I'm afraid. My adventures in babysitting have been going pretty well. The little girl I watch is very sweet and easy. Today, she and Goose played pretty well together. I find I am grateful that I seem to have two of everything--two strollers, two zip-up lunch boxes, two stuffed elephants that we can pretend are babies. I did "preschool" this week with the two little girls plus three others. It was much less structured than when I did it with T-Bone and Beulah, but seeing that Goose isn't even three yet, I'm not too concerned. She didn't handle it very well and was very upset when the other girls wanted to sit in her booster chair. I don't think she could identify the letter "Q" if our lives all depended on it, in spite of my best efforts.

Husband and I are halfway through (waiting for Netflix to ship the other disc) the 2006 Masterpiece Theater version of Jane Eyre. I think I have seen at least

one (Orson Wells)

two (William Hurt)

three (Ciaran Hinds)

four (Timothy Dalton)

versions of it so far besides the current one (Toby Stevens)

and it amazes me that I can still be interested in the story. I am not sure what my favorite version is, because I can't remember the William Hurt or Orson Wells ones very clearly. The sexual tension is the best in the Ciaran Hinds movie, especially when he pulls her closes and growls something along the lines of, "I can feel that you want me." I do believe he is the best Mr. Rochester. I'm not sure I approve of the man, of course, being that he wants to drag the pure Jane into a bigamous marraige, but I like his passion.

Okay, I've wasted way to much time harvesting pictures for this excursion and now I am done.

Morning Update

Today Goose woke up early and Husband got her and brought her into bed. Fortunately she fell asleep again and everyone was able to sleep in. She is currently writhing around on the floor.
T-Bone and William are playing something downstairs invovlving their castle legos.
Boon Dog is still here.
Janey is enjoying an extra long sleep in; she finished up her science fair project last night.
Beulah is sleeping in but when awake is contemplating the shape of her eyebrows.
Husband's knees are recovering from our trip to the office yesterday when we glued the the trimmed carpet pieces to the wall. It looks MUCH better now.
I am wondering if I'm going to make breakfast cake this morning. I probably will, and here is the recipe:
2 c. flour (we like whole wheat)
1 T. baking powder
1 t. salt
1 c. sugar
1/3 c. butter.
Mix the above ingredients (I actually use my bare hands; using a pastry cutter would be better but I don't have one) until the butter is pea-sized.
Add:
2 eggs
1 c. milk
1 heaping T. sour cream
1/2-1 c. berries.
Put in a 9 x 13 pan.
For the topping:
Mix 1/2 c. brown sugar, 1 t. cinnamon, 1/3 c. flour and 1/4. butter (add a lot more brown sugar, because everyone always wants more. Or maybe just double everything; I always kind of wing this part) until crumbly. Sprinkle on top of the cake and bake for thirty minutes at 375.
Lately the topping has been sinking in. I think it's a result of the type of wheat I use. I'm not much of a presentation person so it don't care where the sugar is as long as I can taste it. :)

Just a Touch of Perspective

A couple of weeks ago we were playing a family game (Ticket to Ride, I think) and Beulah was at the computer, working on her homework and dabbling with Facebook and listening to music. All of a sudden, I realized that she was on one of those websites that allows you to play whatever song you want. I had to take over and I made her play all these songs from my youth that I used to love and be moved and invigorated by and I'm sad to report that Johnny Rotten has lost his appeal for me. I mean, the music we heard, "Rise," was accompanied by a video that 's probably 20 years old and in it he looked like a worried old lady. Nineteen years ago, I loved the man. I saw him in concert three times and once I even smuggled in a queen sized sheet emblazoned with the spraypainted words "WE WANT YOUR BODY" to one of the shows and tried to unfurl it from my nosebleed seat to get his attention. But back the music. The song just wasn't as exciting as it used to be. The same went for "Lie to Me" and songs from Front 242. I wonder what's changed in me? There are some songs from my youth that still get my blood going: "White Lines" by Grandmaster Flash will always, always be fun to dance to and last week in the car I heard the RUN-DMC version of "Walk This Way," and I turned up the volume all the way and loved it all over again (good thing it was in the dark so no one could see me dancing and trying to sing in my seat--not a pretty picture.) But I guess a lot of the songs that I thought were politically interesting or intellectually challenging really . . . aren't. Or maybe I'm just trying to be cool in a different, thirtysomething way.

Well, life has is challenges but it's still pretty good. I'm reading a book that has transported me to a different time and place and that's always fun.

Well, I'm off to meet with Beulah and her counselor to chose 9th grade classes. What fun!

Time

I often find myself wasting time and that goes against my philosophical outlook. Rationally, I understand that there are only 24 hours in the day and that every moment you let escape is one you can never again have. Yet I use my time so poorly. Part of it is that I don't like a lot of structure. I like to to have wiggle room (on my own terms, of course, please don't subject me to your needs for wiggle room). I find that the more things I have to do in a day, the shorter my temper and the more tense I become. Maybe it's because I'm inherently selfish and just want to do what I want to do. . . . Yeah, that's probably it.

I keep thinking about learning more on the computer so I can make my blog cuter or get into Beulah's stuff and find out what she's doing, but again that requires time and discipline. And I find that when I'm trying to make things cute on the computer I really want to start from scratch and do it all my own way, which takes FOREVER of course. (I once spent I don't know how many hours trying to make a newsletter cute, and in the end it would have been so much nicer and quickly done if I just used an available templete.) I think I have a need to create that I simply have to channel into something that is practical and useful.

On another note, the funeral for my grandma was lovely. It was so good to see all the family, and I really enjoyed hearing everyone talk about what a great lady she was. I kept seeing the RS ladies darting back and forth with food, working and cleaning to make sure everything was nice. As we were eating, it occured to me that everything I put in my mouth was made by someone who donated their time and substance out of love, and I felt so grateful and resolved that from now on, when there are funerals happening I will be sure to bring something.

Twila, Part 2

Well, I got the call this morning that my grandma passed away last night. I know she is in a better place and with her family and friends who went before her. I want to just share a few memories and thoughts: Whenever she and Grandpa would come down to my childhood home in San Diego, she would make Cream Puffs and fill them full with vanilla pudding. She gave us coins from her purse. When my younger brother's leg was broken and he was confined to a body cast, she made tapes of herself reading books so he could listen to them (I would listen, too, of course). She wrote me faithfully while we lived in Scotland and I was lonely for correspondence. She made fun salads with baby shrimp and jello. I spent most of my Thanksgivings while I was at college with her and Grandpa, and she would always make a good meal and then hurry to clean it up--without the benefit of a dishwasher. Before we ate Grandpa would always look at her and say, "Well, I suppose I ought to say it," and she would look at him with a feigned reservation and say, "I suppose you should," and then he'd say, "Well, it's good to get a square meal for once." She liked to make cookies and peanut brittle at Christmas. She liked looking after her those who were in need and would pick up the mail for her ailing neighbors. The last few years before she left her home in Downey she would bake angel food cakes for funerals. She claimed to buy them by the case. She and Grandpa were always busy in the shop, making things for people--building desks, beds, shelves, and blocks. Whenever we visited her in her new home, the kids would always get out the blocks to play and she'd look at them and say, "That was a good toy that we made. I don't know how many hundreds of boxes of blocks we made out in the shop." She was proud and grateful for her children and she especially liked Husband, because he would always help clean up after meals without being asked. She didn't care much about material things and was generous her substance. She liked to go for rides in the car and enjoyed doing word search puzzles. She crocheted when she was younger and made afgans and rugs. She was always cheerful and fun to visit, and had a paper taped to her wall that said "I am determined to be cheerful and happy in whatever situation I may find myself. For I have learned that the greater part of our misery or unhappiness is determined not by our circumstance but by our disposition." What a wonderful lady, the world needs more like her.

Twila

I've been thinking about my grandma again. My dad explains that she is lost in time and space, and whenever he says that it makes me think about her floating around in a black cosmos studded with with stars. She gets increasingly confused about where she is and when she is and forgets who's alive and who's dead. And yet she can be such a pleasure to visit with. The children just nod and smile when she asks them for the fifth time how their summer vacation is, but she always shows such interest in them and chuckles with pleasure to see Goose doing her cute two-year-old things. She's been sick this week and who knows how much more time she has here. The thing about Grandma is that the vast majority of her life she has been so helpful and energetic and contributing. She has done so much good to her family and neighbors. Old age seems so unfair in the things that it takes from people.

Special Thoughts from My Children

"When I say you're fat, I don't mean 'fat.' I mean dumb, boring, and fat."--Beulah
"This is so hot that it feels cold."--Cheeseball
"Goose's gerbil does half the pooping so she has do half the work cleaning the cage."--Janey
Some history here. I first say, 'T-Bone, why is it that all your school writing is about PlayStation. "I didn't do my first draft of the story about PlayStation; it was about Gameboy."--T-Bone
"I want my gerbil RIGHT NOWWWWWWWWW!"--Goose

Cough up the crown and nobody gets hurt

Goose likes to quote lines from her favorite movie, Scooby Doo in Where's My Mummy? The above is an example, but she also says, "Out of the sandbox kids, playtime is over!" Sometimes she mixes the two and says, "Out of the sandbox and nobody gets hurt!"


Last night we watched the first four episodes of 24 off of the FOX-TV website. I can't believe how fast it went. It was fun. I forgot that I heard that Tony the Tiger (or Le Tigre, as I like to call him) was going to be back. The freckled FBI babe is way too cute and I wish she'd get wiped out but I have a feeling that she's in for the long haul. (Poor Edgar wasn't)

Well, Costco remains my favorite place; they are paying for all the labor and parts on our lame Philips TV.
We also finally got our door fixed on the minivan. (along with the handle on the hatch, which just broke, and also replaced our taillight which had been hit by Anonymous last year.)
I went to Target this morning and made the important decision that just because something is marked down 75% doesn't mean I should buy it.

Headaches, Broken Things, and Tickets

This has not been my most cheerful week. I usually never have headaches and the past week or two, I've had to take ibuprofen 3 times for headaches (compare with normally 3 times a year). I'm not sure if it's stress or if it's the colds I've had. On another note, our LCD tv (Philips)abruptly stopped working last week. It flashes a long red light and then two short red lights. Apparently, it's some sort of trouble shooting code. The problem is, Philips DOESN'T PUBLISH THEIR CODES PUBLICLY! So we have to pay someone to go "look up" the code to tell us what's wrong. Now maybe every other brand in the industry is the same way, but I think it's completely dishonest and lousy of them to not tell the owners of their products how to figure out what is wrong with them. I will never purchase from Philips again, rest assured. (not to mention that the tv was a mere 19 months old. We had our previous tv 10 years and we only got rid of it because we bought the bigger one and I didn't want two tvs in our home.) Our van hatch handle broke yesterday and now the only way to open the trunk of the minivan is to send out Husband with a screwdriver. We'll have to bring it into the shop next week, I guess. Our vacuum broke last week (because I whacked it because it had clogged up and stopped spinning again, even though I had just cleared it out.) And one of our kids stepped in a kitchen drawer and broke it. Our computer was not turning on but thankfully husband was able to fix it by removing some broken parts out of a USB port.
To make our week even better, we received a ticket in the mail courtesy of a speed enforcement camera, which accused us going 70 in a 55 zone (of course, that was when we were merging onto the freeway; we we're always going with the flow of traffic).
So I've been a bit grumpy. I hope my next post will be more cheerful.

A New Year

Yesterday Husband decided he wanted to go sledding. It took a little doing to rally the troops but finally everyone was dressed and ready to go. I was planning to stay home with Goose and Beulah, but as I looked around I saw that Goose was getting her boots on and she was talking about going. I realized that I don't have to be a stick in the mud all the time (the note about me that says "I'm a free wheeling mama" is quite tongue in cheek) and that I could actually go and watch her so that we could both participate with the family. We drove around and around and around and finally settled on a hill by a church which had about a dozen people (including little kids) going down a little slope. We have 3 two-person sleds, and I insisted that Goose could go down only with Husband. I also decided that I was too chicken to go down by myself, so I joined up with Janey, and T-Bone and Cheeseball went down together. I can't believe how fast we went as we headed down the hill. I had to close my eyes and pray that I wouldn't die. (And Husband told me later that we were on the "slow" sled.) We all went down several times and Janey and T-Bone both went off the jump (T-Bone had was unfortunately thrown off his sled, but he was okay), I went down once with Rob and Goose, and once with Cheeseball. (I kept telling him I was scared to go down with me being the person who was supposed to be in charge but he assured me we'd be okay.) It was so fun. Goose had a great time. She kept throwing herself down on the sled as if she could just will it to move by being on top of it (she is used to getting her own way, after all).